At one point in the evolution of the motorcycle it was thought a good idea to build massive final drive chains. Rather than last a long time, the sheer inertia of their mass caused them to go into a self-destruct routine. History will, I suspect, consign the latest round of enormous litre retros to the same graveyard.
Suzuki, Kawasaki and lastly Honda have all missed the point in the design of their largest capacity retros. Whilst they all have chassis that seventies superbikes can only envy, they carry the same massive weight penalty that burdened nasty devices like Z900s and CB750s, the CB1000 coming in at 520lbs dry, more like 560lbs with a full complement of oil, fuel and water.
Such apparent insanity is all the more galling from Honda, as all they had to do was dump the plastic on the CBR900, add some proper handlebars and detune the motor modestly, preferably by slinging on a single carb rather than playing around with the cams as per the CB. The absence of plastic would have brought the price down from £7100 to somewhere near the £6400 mark of the CB1000 (and the mass to under 400lbs dry!).
All that said, Honda’s engineers have done a reasonable job of keeping the overweight mammoth in check, resorting to the ploy of using a double cradle tubular trellis that would not have looked out of place on the original CB750. They have at least, after decades of learning the art of frame design, come up with geometry that uses the mass to give the CB1000 a well planted feel on the road that makes the Zephyr 1100 feel a bit twitchy by comparison.
It isn't the kind of device that can be slung from bend to bend with gay abandon, nor does it give much measure of forgiveness for those so beguiled by its straight line stability that they enter corners 20 to 30mph faster than mere physics allow. As the CB hides its mass quite well, sitting atop a speeding projectile which suddenly wants to take a wide line through a narrow bend tended to blow my mind and flutter my heart. Those who still have some hair left after the ravages of being forced to wear a crash helmet will soon resemble a cancer victim in the final throes of chromotherapy if they persist in making full use of the Honda's 100 odd horses.
The engine is basically similar to the CBR1000, a watercooled, DOHC, 16 valve four, which is reliable enough up to 25-30,000 miles when it's not unknown for the camchain to need replacing. The CB1000 is slightly detuned in the search for easy torque, something it manages to the extent that the mere five gears are quite sufficient. Indeed, dumping a gear has made the gearbox smoother and more precise than on the CBR1000. Admittedly, the only CBR's I'd ridden had more than 25000 miles on the clock whilst the CB1000 had a mere 5800 miles by the time I returned it to its proud owner.
First gear was the usual ultra low affair, designed not so much as an aid to riding in heavy traffic (I much preferred second) but as a means of posting impressive acceleration times in the magazines and propping up sagging egos by aiding wild wheelies. The CB wasn't the kind of bike that went vertical every time the throttle was touched, but would wheelie if sufficient abuse of the throttle and clutch were combined. The degeneration in stability when mono-wheeling was always of a order that frightened the shit out of me. Wheelies on public roads are so out of order that they should be avoided even if you're willing to replace the wrecked transmission every 5 to 10,000 miles.
Roll-ons in fifth were blistering between 60 and 100mph and more than adequate 25mph either side of that band. It was possible to trickle down to 25mph in top but opening up the throttle with anything other than the sensitivity of a safe-cracker caused the transmission to shudder until 40mph was on the clock.
Top speed was impossible to achieve, I couldn't hold on to the bars above 135mph, when there was undoubtedly more to come and the chassis wasn't showing any signs of letting loose, despite the force of the wind trying to spit me off the back of the bike. Sustainable cruising was a mere 80 to 85mph, which turned out to be the only speed at which appreciable vibes got through to the bars, despite the presence of the usual counterbalancers. The mirrors became fuzzy enough to have the cops rubbing their hands with glee and myself throwing the Honda in front of a Merc, which appeared from nowhere but had a driver awake enough to use his brakes. Thanks, mate!
The Honda had its full complement of disc brakes, which anyone with their full ration of grey cells will find more than adequate, safe to use in the wet and, even, not showing any signs of seizing up despite the usual excess of salted roads. Grabbing the front brake in desperate survival mode whilst trying to lose some speed in corners would throw the CB around rather a lot, but it's a lot more fun than working out with a Bullworker.
Of the suspension, the twin rear shocks were more likely to play up than the hefty front forks, although they were both good enough to keep the Honda in line for 99% of the time. A few more thousand miles will probably show up the shocks as being in urgent need of replacement, but the frame was strong enough to damp out rather than amplify any of their indiscretions. Even hitting a loose bit of wood at 75mph didn't have much of an adverse effect on the chassis, the sudden handlebar lurch disappearing before I had time to panic or drop a load.
Less impressive was a fuel consumption that varied between the awful (25mpg) and the merely tolerable (45mpg). It wasn't that easy to average 40mpg, needing the kind of restraint on the throttle that made the CB1000's performance similar to a mere 400 twin. With nearly five gallons capacity, the huge fuel tank at least gives a range of 150 to 200 miles. Moderate touring speeds are sustainable for 250 to 350 miles in a day before the seat turns hard or muscle cramp sets in.
The easy going nature of the motor means that after that kind of mileage the engine can be stuck in top, rolled along with the minimum of effort on the throttle, whilst watercooling and moderate tune combine to make the bike one big pussycat in town. These are useful features for the long distance rider who wants to arrive with some energy left for late night excesses.
One 600 mile ride in a day almost converted me to the CB1000 ethos. It had been fast A-roads most of the way, using the bike hard in top gear between 65 and 120mph for most of the time. I amused myself by trying to ride without resorting to the discs, using engine braking and my knowledge of the roads to set the Honda up for the corners. The excess of acceleration even saved my kneecap on one occasion when I'd nearly collided with an oncoming auto when overtaking a long line of cars that had some OAP frightened out of his wits as he trundled along in an Escort at 35mph. Can't think what he must've thought of the rapidly disappearing bulk of the CB as I cut him up at about 125mph. What spoilt the whole trip was falling over in a heap as the CB1000 tipped over on its stand. Naturally, in front of about half a dozen cronies.
One of whom later amused us by almost looping the loop after dropping the clutch with about 9000 revs up. The Honda eventually came down to earth with a crash that bounced its forks on the stops and the rider was led away dazed, muttering something about thinking he had broken his ribs. A few beers eventually revived him without having to resort to the charms of the NHS.
Pushing the brute more than a few millimetres was another way to bring home the idea that it was nearer 600 than 500lbs in weight. On a couple of occasions I'd blithely nosed the CB into a parking space only to find it impossible to reverse out without summoning the aid of particularly fit looking pedestrians. It wasn't the kind of machine that could be ridden into the hallway with impunity.
It says a lot for the way that motorcycle design had advanced that Honda can get away with launching such a fundamentally flawed bike, that still manages to safely deliver an excess of kicks on the road. Retro freaks will probably give it a miss, as the watercooling lacks street cred in this category. Power maniacs looking for something brutally massive with sensible bars will do much better dumping the plastic on a GSXR1100. As a tourer any number of small, sensible fours will do just as well as the big Honda. The GSX1100G is much cheaper and the 1100 Zephyr looks snappier. As a muscle bike for posing in town the Honda might turn a few heads but in the UK market, at least, there's no excuse for not spending the same kind of dosh on a Triumph Trident 900. You can be patriotic and have even more fun at the same time!
Dick Lewis
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To me, there's nothing quite like a meaty big four. The bigger the better. Power, excess and glory. When Honda took their CBR1000 motor and installed it in retro clothes I wanted one as soon as I saw it. At the time I couldn't afford it but a couple of years worth of abuse and few youths who could afford the insurance, meant that prices had become reasonable and I could just about afford one of the early ones. Insurance's ridiculous and spare parts extortionate, but that's true for any recent big four.
I'd had it for a week when I fell off. It wasn't my fault at all. I'd leapt on board, given her my normal dose of throttle, done a 100 yards when the whole back end collapsed. A really weird feel as the guard bounced on the tyre and the bike wobbled off the road into a caravan. I went flying through the air, landing on an empty pram that rolled off down the road with me upon it until my mass caused the axles to buckle and the wheels to fall off. I was finally deposited into a prickly rose bed. I doubt if John Cleese could've bettered the fall from grace.
Some urchin had removed the shocks' upper bolts so that they just flew back under acceleration. The tyre smashing into the plastic had ruined the guard and tail section. The CB smashing into the caravan had cracked the front wheel and ruined the side of the vehicle. The rose bush had lacerated my legs and my expensive helmet had cracked like an egg-shell when I whacked a bolder in the garden.
The owner of the latter also owned the caravan and the pram, was totally outraged at the way I'd ruined her day and nagged away whilst I cried over the spilt Honda. With its eighteen inch wheels there was no easy option of using a replacement from a more common bike and I didn't fancy trusting my life to a repaired wheel. The solution turned up after two weeks of worrying, some guy converting his bike to fatter 17 inch wheels had a good front wheel for sale, probably the only one in the country. I'd repaired the shattered plastic and fitted new bolts with Araldite to the shocks.
No sooner was the bike back on the road, and I was enjoying the fierce acceleration plus the sheer art of controlling 550lbs of heavy metal, than I came back to find that the petrol tank cap was broken by some vandal. I was just going to hit the starter when I thought maybe someone had put something in the tank. I peered in, sniffed and swore. I don't know if it was tampered with or not but I had no choice but to drain the tank and fill with fresh fuel. The Honda was too heavy to heave up the steps into the safety of the house.
The CB develops a 100 horses at a mere 8500 revs which gives an idea of how much power there is even at low revs. I christened the bike Grunter because of the way the non-standard four into one exhaust, er, grunted on take-offs. As a point and squirt device there was nothing that could match the big Honda. I was even able to give some big Ducati owners some lessons in reality, at least until I had to swing through the bends.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a total pig and was way ahead of some seventies wreck. However, the mix of a hundred horses with 550lbs was an impossible one to tame completely even when the suspension at both ends was good and the steering geometry gave the brute a very secure feel.
Quite a lot of muscle was needed to heave-ho through the bends when these Ducati things would just growl away - I much preferred the four's gravelly wail to the deeper vee twin note. A lot of care on the throttle was needed when exiting bends, going mad would either squirm the back tyre off the road or lift the front wheel off the ground, when the bars did a most startling jig in my hands. Backing off the throttle calmed the beast at the core of the machine if not my heart rate. Given a little care and attention, a dedication to the selected line, then the Honda could be hustled much more easily than its size and mass would suggest.
That's fine as far as it goes but on one occasion I was riding down some favourite roads when we went through a patch of gravel. The front wheel slid away and I tired to fight back with pressure on the bars but got nowhere. Off the road went we, great sparks where the exhaust ground away; there's so much mass that when the bike loses it all it takes faster reactions and bigger muscles than what I could muster. I was wearing full leathers that time so survived the gravel rash. The Honda was quite tough, surviving with just some scratches on the exhaust, engine case and bent bars. Call it added street credibility.
The CB had already done about 23000 miles in the hands of a couple of juvenile delinquents, there was a slight rattle from the top end that developed into a rat-tat-tat after a few thousand miles. An unfortunate trait that was inherited from the CBR1000. The camchain tensioner's automatic but can stick or seize. A bit of disassembly and application of WD40 helped for a couple of weeks until the camchain was beginning to sound like a chainsaw. Ah well, it was down to the local dealer for a new camchain and tensioner. He reckoned some of the sixteen valves were leaking and I might need a rebore. I got out of there before he suggested a full engine rebuild.
Still, they did a good job on the camchain and the bike was running better than ever. Fuel was heavy at 35mpg but with nearly five gallons in the massive tank range was acceptable, about equal to the comfort of the seat - mind you, I'd hardened up after suffering too many old hacks with the stuffing knocked out of their saddles.
Despite the lack of a fairing I found I could hurtle along at 90 to 100mph without too much arm or neck strain because I was used to speed on naked bikes and the Honda had a riding position that allowed me to lean into the self produced gale. Stability was fine even on some quite neglected road surfaces. A tremor of secondary vibration above the ton in fifth gear (the gearbox was better than I'd expect, very slick) dissuaded me from too many top speed runs but I've seen 145mph on the clock, a speed at which the bike felt like it was about to let loose in a big way.
That may've been the tyres, Pirelli Dragon GT radials, which gave a most reassuring grip in the wet but felt a bit lost at extreme speeds or angles of lean - the 18 inch wheels limited tyre choice. At £185 a pair the Pirelli's were not exactly the bargain of the century, especially as they went off after about 4500 miles when there was still some tread left. Pushing them to 5000 miles turned the Honda's chassis really nasty with the kind of feel you'd expect on a Puch Maxi or similar piece of excrement. The first time it happened I thought the chassis bearings had gone, was relieved to find it was just the rubber (or relieved of lots of money, anyway....).
One advantage of the twin shocks was the lack of linkages to wear out. For some reason, despite riding through snow and salted roads, none of the calipers showed any signs of seizing and the pads never wore out. If the bike'd been a little lighter stoppies would've been a daily occurrence; instead the brakes had that happy combination of feel and power that made them safe even in the foulness of a British winter.
The bike's looks caused a great variety of reactions, from people who were desperate to buy one to some little wretch who kept letting down my tyres. The first time it happened I'd assumed it was a puncture, took the back wheel out and got the local tyre dealer to take a look. Talk about feeling like a plonker. If I ever catch who's pissing around with the Honda I'll tear him limb from limb.
For obscure reasons the CB1000 never gained much of a following, the Kawasaki 1100 Zephyr having more credibility in the retro stakes due to its air-cooled engine and more immediate looks, the appearance of the CB growing on you over time. All that means that there are some bargain CB1000N's in the £3000 to £4000 price range, which even after paying for a new camchain is good value in my book. If I didn't have one already I'd buy one tomorrow.
Jamie Driscoll