It looked pretty neat for a 25 year old bike. Very much in the tradition of those old sixties British twins. An import from the States, a 1971 trail version of the famous old CB350 twin. The shiny upswept exhaust on one side of the bike indicated that the 3500 miles on the clock might just be genuine. Also reflected in the rest of the chassis that shone nicely, confirming it probably hadn't ever been used off road.
The dealer went into the usual spiel - been stored for a couple of decades, never used hard, runs perfectly, three month written guarantee, mine for a measly two grand (about six times what they cost new). I tried the usual UMG inspired ploys to get a reduction for cash, but even when I took my wad out of my underpants he wouldn't shift. Must be I have a sucker face. All he'd promise was that he'd have it ready for the road in two days rather than the six weeks which was the normal waiting period as they were overwhelmed with people throwing money at them, it was the beginning of the season, etc., etc.
Two grand was a lot of money but I'd save a few hundred on the cheap classic insurance, I'd never have to pay road tax again and the engine had burbled beautifully, enticingly. After handing over the dosh, the dealer gave me his sucker smile, one born every minute and the money would pay very nicely for his loose change expenses this month, thank you very much, and ain't it a pity you can't afford the latest Porsche like me, etc., etc.
According to the UMG - and who am I to disagree?- if an old Honda twin has a good gearbox then it's very probably low mileage and in nice nick. So I was pretty happy to find the 350's change was slick and precise, though the gearing made first and second a waste of time for road use - the thing would happily pull off in third and it ran into the red in fifth with a mere 80mph on the clock. A bigger gearbox sprocket was top priority.
Before that, I had to do the forty mile ride home. With the trail based gearing acceleration was nifty enough to burn off 250 Superdreams, and the like, and it had a nice off-beat exhaust note (from the pistons moving up and down out of sync), whilst handling was steady as long as I didn't dive down into the potholes when the suspension could only be described as desperately loose. Probably naff from new, I consoled myself, not wanting to contemplate the idea that it was worn out from 25000 miles of abuse and the bike had been clocked.
Entering that charming and pleasant conurbation known as Luton, where I happened to live, I got caught up with the traffic, which even the narrowness and light mass (345lbs) of the Honda didn't allow fast progress. The cages were too jam packed for even emaciated ped's to get through!
Heat rose off the engine and neutral became elusive. The clutch was light so no great strain to hold the lever in, save that the machine started to creep forward as the plates dragged. I held it on the front TLS drum for a moment when the motor stalled. Five million kicks later it grumbled into life and I could leave the hundreds of horns in my wake. Even changing the oil every 500 miles, and much adjustment of the clutch, never removed the drag. When the engine got hot it simply turned very nasty.
After fitting a larger gearbox sprocket and flatter bars, top speed improved to just over the ton, which confirmed that the motor was making all of 33 horses and that, heat problems aside, it was generally in good nick. In fact, it was one of those motors that ran better the more it was revved, smoothing out above 6000rpm and not having a touch of the jitters until after ten grand.
At lower revs the engine tried to leap out of the frame and the gearchange was reluctant to work in a noise free manner. Clutch drag also hit the engine when started for the first time each day, but it was just a matter of holding the front brake on to avoid a kangaroo hop into the oblivion of a stalled motor. Just part of the character of the bike.
After the first month, or so, starting became difficult. I phoned the dealer who told me to buy a new battery (not covered by the guarantee) despite my protestations that there was plenty of juice. Reluctantly he agreed to look it over. Blackened points were diagnosed and cleaned up...cured it for two days. It took lots of whining to get them to replace them and they were not amused when I phoned up a week later.
In the end, I got new points, HT leads, carb diaphragms, rubber inlet manifolds and a rectifier/ regulator before the guarantee ran out. The dealer complained that he had spent hundreds repairing the bike but I chortled happily enough as I got it fixed for free and it was running like a new bike. Bikes that have been stored away for years rot all kind of things, so it's worth making sure you get a decent guarantee if paying top money.
The dealer wouldn't agree to fitting a new clutch, though, reckoning the drag was a design fault that couldn't be cured, his chins wobbling furiously at the thought of how much money he'd have to spend. The strange thing about the way he lied was that deep down he probably believed himself a real hero rather than a total arsehole.
None of that stopped me enjoying the Honda. Especially after I'd rebuilt the front forks with hefty springs and fitted a pair of used Girling shocks out back. A precision piece of engineering it wasn't but nonetheless it was basically a stable, sturdy and strong little thing that was well matched to its power output- could be ridden on the limit for most of the time without excessive speed or danger. I enjoyed it anyway.
It was also amazingly cheap to run. 65mpg, slow wearing tyres, zero wear from the brake shoes and the only concern the need to do the chain every few hundred miles. Engine maintenance was a 1000 mile chore but astonishingly simple compared to modern bikes with no need to spend hours removing millions of bits.
However, after two years and 19000 miles, things turned a little dismal. Simply put, the bike much preferred the Texan sunshine to the English winter, and rot was soon attacking the metalwork. The guards disintegrated, the huge rear light bracket fractured, the silencers rusted through (an MOT failure), the seat base disintegrated and bits of rust seized up the petrol tap. The wheel rims went all rusty and the alloy corroded. My pristine bike was quickly turned into a rat, although most of the paint was of good quality.
Study of the UMG revealed that I could also expect the drum brakes to crack up at speed and that the forks were likely to unfurl some day soon. I knew something bad was going to happen when the spokes started breaking up at both ends and that riding around on a machine with egg shaped wheels was only something for the foolish looking for employment opportunities in a circus. Yes, after paying two grand for the bike I should've been made to ride around in a clown's outfit.
The Honda was cleaned up and sold for £725, which was what I should've paid in the first place. Apart from slightly dodgy cam lobes, the engines are reasonably tough and for summer use low milers represent reasonable buys. As serious hacks they have their limitations unless you want to wallow in rat status and like every ride to be an adventure into the unknown!
Ralph Williams