Perhaps it’s because I was dropped on my head as a baby, or maybe it’s just the drink, but I actually like MZs. The first MZ I owned was a disc brake 250 ETZ which had previously been hitched to a chair. I knew it needed slight attention when I bought it, but in reality it was completely buggered. It ate chains until I discovered a broken engine mount, blew up its gearbox (a legacy of chair pulling, I suspect), had numerous electrical faults, and generally just fell to bits in every way imaginable.
Which was a pity really because it was essentially a good bike with a very reasonable turn of speed, light precise handling and excellent comfort and range. It returned about 60mpg, a little less when thrashed. Oil consumption varied according to use but could be quite high. A diet of Golden Film 2T had been fine for my MZs, similarly el cheapo Champion spark plugs (buy a box of four from a car factor), unleaded petrol and used tyres from a breaker.
The rear grabrail can be pulled out to be used as a carrier, and the front Brembo caliper overwhelms the lethal Pneumant tyre instantly in the wet. The left-handed kickstart is for some reason impossibly difficult to use astride the bike. I soon learnt to switch off the fuel about 50 yards before the end of a journey, which made the next start a reliable first kick affair.
The constant hassle with the electrics was gradually eliminated as terminals were remade and earthing improved. The biggest single improvement was a new (and surprisingly expensive) voltage regulator, this being an old fashioned loaf tin contact breaker type. The charging is reliably handled by a good sized dynamo with cheap and easily replaced bushes.
After about 8000 miles the beast was much improved, at which point a friend offered me a ratty and aged Supa 5 for spares. I paid £20 for it, no tax, no MOT, leaking fork seals, busted rev counter and all, and rode it home. The first thing I did when I got back was to sell the ETZ! With only the fork seals fixed to pass an MOT, the Supa 5 was nice to ride and made a perfect, worthless winter hack.
As with all MZ machines the forks have gaiters, the shocks have enclosed dampers and the chain is hidden away in very neat rubber gaiters. This one had the extremely old fashioned tank with chrome sidepanels and rubber knee grips. The controls were out of the fifties and the riding position distinctly odd, with forward footrests but a low flat bar. Comfort was fine, actually, though pillions suffer terribly due to the toolbox under the seat which is in any case too short.
Despite its age, the red paint and alloy engine and rims cleaned up easily to a high quality finish completely unknown to ETZ owners. I made no attempt to repair it, thus the indicators remained taped on to bent stalks, the split seat continued to ooze water even in dry weather, and the rev counter remained at zero, causing a campaign of over revving that cost two small end bearings. Oiling on all TS series MZs is by pre mix. For those who have recently shed their milk teeth this consists of stirring the oil into the fuel as you fill the tank. It is a rough way yet reliable. This machine burnt a little gearbox oil too, but what the hell, every little helps.
Electrics were six volts and quite good, the headlamp particularly so for six volts. The weakness was, as ever on MZs, the rear stop switch, a ridiculous device which requires the back wheel to be removed to repair it. I bunged on an old Wipac off a dead British bike. It felt really at home on the Supa 5.
You may have heard about MZ brakes. Rear drums, no problem, front discs excellent, front drums.....put simply, they do not work. At all! Either fit an early TLS Honda wheel, an ETZ front end or refine your defensive riding to previously unscaled heights. I did the latter, it was cheapest, and I must say in 17000 miles I never dropped it or ran into anything. Got right good at swerving, mind.
The engine is more full of torque than an ETZ, though I am told the 300 is as good. It is also remarkably fast, doing over 80mph, and will cruise at 70-75mph except into a gale. It is acceptably smooth as a result of an extraordinary system of rubber mounts which cause the engine to hop about at low revs. This is why I didn’t spot the loose engine in the ETZ, they all seem to do that.
The main frame spine is round on a Supa 5, which is possibly why the handling is markedly inferior to the square sectioned ETZ. It is not dangerous but combined with the brakes, or lack of, kept the bravery on a short leash down unknown lanes.
Kickstart springs are cheap and easy to replace which is a relief as they expire quite often. If you want to embarrass your girlfriend have her push start you on a Supa 5 - it’s not as easy as you would think as the clutch on the end of the crank runs in hypoid and drags badly when cold. I became adroit at bump starting, which seems to fit the inverted snobbery of a clapped MZ, along with the clouds of blue smoke, tinny rattle of another dying small end bearing, dents, bungees, wellys and a black greasy goo oozing out of the chaincase. I love that bike. A chap saw it and wanted it for a restoration project. I thought the old heap deserved it so I sold it to him for the pittance I had paid plus a bit extra as it was now a collector’s item!
The latest stinkwheel to grace my lockup is a middleaged ETZ 125 which like many MZs appears not to have been cleaned since the civil war, has a wide variety of alarming rattles and starts first kick. Most of the paint has disappeared off the tank due to a hydraulic fluid leak which I suppose I had better fix before the MOT, the mudguards have been brush painted at some time and the number plate is almost totally obscured by reprocessed 2T.
After riding it about for a bit I improved the performance dramatically by finding it had a fifth gear; the gearchange itself responded well to having some oil put in the gearbox a while later. It’s still chronically slow, outrageously over braked and stunningly ugly, but it is a brilliant bike for scooting through the inner city snarl ups and just refuses to die.
Like most ETZ's it is 12 volts, has an excellent opposed piston caliper and separate oiling. Maintenance requirements are limited to putting sand on the puddle of oil that grows underneath it and occasionally wondering whether it would be a good idea to look at the points.
To enjoy an MZ you must be mean, deaf, blind and reasonably mechanically literate. They do break down occasionally and some of the engineering is unusual, to say the least, though few special tools are needed and almost everything is amenable to a bodge of one sort or another. Bits are very cheap but a second donor bike is better still.
The legend of premature main bearing failures goes back to the old Trophy and four speed TS 250 days. Anything made in the last decade will be as sound as any two stroke can be. The great thing about an MZ is that such considerations as depreciation, cosmetic appearance and street cred simply don’t enter into it. Nobody ever pinches them, nothing breaks when you drop them and they cost nearly nothing to run. If that sounds like your kind of bike, go and get one. If you worry about being laughed at, don’t.
Jon Everall