Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Suzuki GSXR400


It took about 12,500 revs before the four cylinder motor really began to sing. I tried to explain this to the police officer. He'd risked his life by leaping out into the road. He must've been watching too many TV programmes. I almost didn't see him because the front wheel was way up in the sky. The girls who fluttered out of the school giggled at the sight of me being dressed down by Mr. Porky (literally, he was bursting out of his uniform like a third world despot). I tried to look cool, but the thought of having my licence confiscated gave me a fit of the shakes. Or maybe it was the adrenaline overdrive. His parting thought was that I should also get my hair cut or I'd never amount to anything.

I did a first gear drive past him at 15000rpm but kept the front wheel down on the ground - it does need some violence on the bars and clutch to do a wheelie! I was going to give him the finger but some dumbo in a Cavalier decided to do a U-turn just as I was going to shoot past him. Horn, twitch the bars, and hit on second and the throttle, got me past before he had a chance to knock me off. The Suzuki was highly responsive to both muscle and throttle, able to hurtle around most obstacles.

Helped along by weighing only 375lbs. The riding position was inspired by the notorious GSXR 750, although the stretch to the bars was less arm lengthening than the big bike. The riding position suited speeding full bore everywhere, any attempt at running at steady, sane speeds was met with a sore neck, aching wrists, numb bum and back pains. These never faded into the background with time, just got worse and worse, the more my body was forced into an unnatural position. Only speed worked!

The bike was limited to 53 horses for the Japanese market but had an aftermarket ignition pack, which the previous owner reckoned was good for 65 horses. Top speed was just under 130mph, which as far as I was concerned was a viable cruising speed. The engine needed to be over 11000 revs before the torque made itself felt. Below those revs much gear swapping was needed to maintain a steady speed against hills or headwinds.

The six speed gearbox was one of those modern wonders, that make other models look mediocre. Slick, slick and, er, slick! Could be used with or without the clutch and tap-danced into matching the manic way the tacho needle flicked around the dial. Acceleration was up to GSXR750 standards to about 90mph, when the bigger bike shot off into the distance. Acceleration only died out when 125mph was on the clock.

Stability was variable. Smooth roads the bike took in its stride. The suspension was on the soft side for my fifteen stone - it was only adjustable in theory, in practice damping and springing had to be turned up to their hardest settings. Taking a pillion even on those settings wasn't really on, not that anyone showed any enthusiasm for the tiny pillion pad. It was just a hard bit of plastic, which was easy to fall off given the way the Suzuki could wheelie. As the pilot's riding position was likely to cause much member shrinking, this ain't a bike for those after a great sex life!

The noise, acceleration and excess of kicks were the only compensations for the bike's basic weaknesses. To be absolutely honest, the Suzuki was so much of a pain for commuting that I kept my previous mount - a GS500E - for the minor stuff. The GSXR was very narrowly focused, but absolutely excelled in what it was good at. You either accept its limitations or buy something else - and a lot of those limitations were also present in other Jap import replicas.

The bike had done 17000 kilometres when I bought it. Looked a little shabby around the edges but nothing a bit of polishing couldn't sort. There are a couple of problems with the bike, though. The shortie front guard means it becomes plastered in road gunge - not so easily dumped for something better as it has unique fittings on to the lugs at the end of the upside-down front forks. The latter's seals soon started weeping but, oddly, this didn't affect the handling. The fairing lowers cracked up when I put them back on. Maybe cack-handedness, maybe shit design. With a bike that gets the adrenaline going like the GSXR, these can be dismissed as minor problems.

Much more major was the way the electrics disintegrated. The first I knew of it was the battery going dead overnight. It's a tiny thing that costs £80 to replace! Unfortunately, that didn't work. The second battery was soon cooked and the lights started blowing. The local dealer grinned and rubbed his hands in glee when I told him my tale. New lights, battery, rectifier and electrical checkover - £325 to you, son!

Yeah, sure. A visit to the breaker procured a large battery (fixed on the pillion!), set of lights (fixed on after sawing away the fairing's plastic) and VFR rectifier (fixed after tearing my hair out as it had too many wires). £60 the lot. 120 miles later the engine went dead, the new lights had blown and the battery had fallen off the pillion, cracking up the plastic around the seat.

I was too embarrassed to go back to the same dealer. The new one made an even more expensive list - battery, rectifier, lights, ignition module, rewire! About £500! Before I passed out, the dealer mentioned he could get hold of used parts from the grey importers. How much? £235! Guaranteed? For as long as it took to get out of his workshop. I had no choice in the matter.

The bike has since run for 9000 miles with no further electrical hassles. Other expenses included the valves and carbs every 5000 miles and an oil change every 2000 miles. Metz tyres last for about 6000 miles. The O-ring chain shows no sign of failing yet! Fuel varied between 50 and 70mpg, averaging out at 55 to 60mpg, which was the only nice surprise the bike offered.

This compares not at all well with the GS500E, which has been run in total neglect mode for 30,000 miles and has tyres that last for 10,000 miles. If I was wholly sane the GSXR would've been sold a long time ago, but its intoxicating nature makes me come back for more and more.

And they aren't that expensive to buy. A really recent low miler in immaculate trim might fetch as much as four grand but they go down to £2000 at the lower end of the market - which buys something with plenty of engine life left but with the suspension on the way out, and maybe dodgy electrics. The best buys are in the £2500 to £3000 price range (after the obligatory round of haggling, it's relatively easy to get ten percent off the sticker price), which, for the money, offer an awful lot of high tech machinery and incredible kicks. Recommended, but get an expert to give the electrics a going over first!

Tony Williams