One of the more amusing tasks in throwing together this rag is phoning up people who advertise motorcycles for sale, pretending to be a potential purchaser, eager to buy their pride and joy. My voice, I am told, sounds particularly cynical and disinterested, so apologies to any readers who have been subjected to a harsh interrogation. A few quick thrusts (ie how long has your name been in the logbook and failing to mention the actual name of the bike) soon sorts the dealers from the genuine vendors... the most astonishing fact to emerge from these late night dalliances with BT (if not the Special Branch as I’m sure my telephone is tapped) is that there are so few low mileage one owner jobs on the market.
Even bikes just a few years old have often had three or four owners, the last of which invariably seems to regard maintenance with an even greater lack of enthusiasm than myself — with remarkable honesty exclaiming that, no, he hasn't changed the oil in the last eight thousand miles as per the maintenance schedule.
That so many people should be dumping nearly new middleweights, that by all reports, even including cynical UMG contributors, are the business, is an interesting phenomenon.
Actually asking vendors why they are selling their machines is like asking a breaker if a particular crashed bike has a straight frame. Maybe they are caught up in the horsepower race. desperate to buy the latest hyperbike, maybe they find the bikes too damn fast to ride or just maybe the ridiculous running costs are too much to bear after expending so much dosh... who knows?
Certainly, people I know with seventies and early eighties Jap fours tend to stick with one machine once they have found a good ’un - perhaps another reason for the current paucity of good, used tackle. it is much cheaper and safer to upgrade suspension to more modern spec, stick on a decent 4—1 and give the old beast a yearly overhaul than to venture into the buying and selling game, which might see you off the road for several months waiting for an elusive bargain to turn up Prices over the past year for old bikes have remained stable.
With new bikes going up in cost, double digit inflation and more and more riders opting for the used option, bikes that have aged a year and put on 10000 miles are still commanding the same price as a year ago, even going up in value in quite a few cases.
When playing games on the telephone, i occasionally come across what appears to be a genuine bargain and I am tempted, as I did in former times. to rush a few hundred miles across the country, with a bundle of cash in my pocket and motorcycle lust in my heart, but as there's a 50/50 chance of a bike described as near immaculate turning out not to have enough tread to/get out of the street without risking arrest and insufficient engine life or braking power to avoid a dose of gravel rash, I generally desist, although anyone out there with a nice sixties CB450 going for a few hundred notes...
And the dealer scene has become a real shark hunt. I know of many cases of people buying one or two year old bikes from dealers and having a hell of a lot of problems. Before the various motorcycle institutions send the men with shotguns around, i should point out that what follows doesn't apply to those nice professional dealers who only want to make the world a better place for hard pressed motorcyclists Honest! If you do buy from a dealer, ask around amongst local motorcyclists if you want to find out who the good ones are.
One CBR600 was proudly displayed as having one owner and low mileage, which was true enough, what the dealer forgot to mention was that its one owner had written it off and the rebuild job included such niceties as straightened frame, wheels and forks... the guy who bought it complained somewhat bitterly that the UMG had failed to inform him about the 120mph speed wobbles and it wasn’t until he ripped the plastic off to see the tell-tale rippled inner frame members that he believed that they didn’t all do that, mate (the dealer's explanation). Even an engineers report and solicitor's letter failed.to move the dealer from the stance that the owner must’ve fallen off and had it straightened after he bought it.
Another example, even stranger, concerned an apparently excellent Suzuki GSXR750. The test ride had confirmed the appearance, it went like any low mileage example should. The purchaser bunged down a deposit and came back the next day with the cash. The bike he rode away on seemed completely different with a rough engine, loads of vibes and not so much go. The engine number checked with the logbook so that couldn't be the problem, could it?
Well, yes, this particular dealer specialized in GSXRs to the extent that he kept an immaculate engine from a crashed bike out back, which he put in well clapped machines for the test ride and then swapped them over in the evening. The machines were tarted up cosmetically and clocked back to a nice low mileage.
The owner got his own back, though, he bought a good engine from a breaker, bunged it in, let another dealer have a test ride and then came back the next day with the docs and the dog of an engine installed. He later bought a GSXR with a wrecked engine and overall came out of it quite a few quid ahead. Call it learning from experience.
Tales of engine failure on apparently low mileage, secondhand bikes are even more common. Conversely, the number of problems on brand new bikes bought from proper dealers are small. Given that the price difference when buying from a dealer is often minimal between a one year old bike and a new 'un, it might just pay to buy a brand new bike if you're going to keep it for a long time and can’t be bothered to save 20% by spending a month or so tracking down a bike in the private market. Such an admission from a magazine devoted to used bikes is perhaps strange, but no more weird than what is currently going on in the used market as we get sucked down into the recession.
Bikes that go in for a full service, as part of the expensively purchased warranty on used bikes (even big dealers are still only offering a month's guarantee on many machines unless you stomp up with some extra cash), come out with the original oil untouched —- although given the mechanical dexterity of some mechanics it’s probably just as well that they don't try to service the machines. This is hardly anything new. it's been a common practice amongst the less scrupulous dealers almost since motorcycling began.
I have heard of car dealers who are just as bad, if not worse, than those flogging motorcycles — whilst a natural result of running any business in the nineties, be it selling motorcycles or publishing magazines, is a large degree of bullshit, the limitation of such corruption should surely come when actions begin to endanger the lives of those involved. It is not a joke, but a tragedy, when a seized engine or cracked frame causes an accident.
Bill Fowler
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