Buyers' Guides

Saturday, 3 March 2018

Loose Lines [Issue 30]


One thing that really pisses me off is people who insist on attacking modern race replicas just because they are new and covered in plastic. Takes me back two decades when the then new wave of Jap bikes were described as far too complex, far too highly strung and far too expensive to run. In fact, things like CB750s, Z1s and XS-2s were so reliable they could be run for 50000 miles under a regime of total neglect, and in most circumstances would burn off the best of British bikes, if only because the latter self destructed from the vibes and poor engineering if they were run along at similar speed to the Japs.

The only real complaint that could be thrown at the Japs was that they were far too heavy, had awful suspension, ill thought out steering geometry and flexible frames. With their abundance of usable power this could turn out pretty nasty when the going got fast, but they were forgiven such excesses because the oil and engine internals but rarely ventured out from the inside of‘ their engines. As the British motorcycle empire rapidly vaporised itself, thanks to a lack of design and investment, frame and suspension manufacturers made as much of a killing as those engineering firms which offered solutions to the inherent faults of British metal.

Had but one of the remaining British motorcycle firms muted its pride for a moment, dumped its engine building capability and brought a few crates full of Japanese engines to fit into their own chassis, there might have been a chance that the home industry could've strayed into the latter half of the twentieth century. But that wasn't to be, and for a long time, through the mid seventies to the mid eighties, many of the Japanese bikes designed were pretty awful devices, often less powerful and less economical than the initial big fours which had done so much to ruin the British-motorcycle industry.

When things like GPz900s, CBR600s, FZR600s and GPZ500s, to name but four, appeared the die-hard adherents of the air cooled four, as overweight and under-powered as it had generally become, appeared just as enraged as those British fanatics who went near apoplectic at the mention. of Jap Crap. British bikes have their place in the motorcycle scene, as do air cooled fours, but so do the latest generation of race replicas. To deny that, generally, they are better machines that those which preceded them is just as silly and stupid as denying that the engineering advances of the Japanese in the seventies was a huge leap forward from the prewar antiques the British manufacturers were trying to off load on the world. 

The Japanese manufacturers still often produce incredibly overweight, ill thought out machines, but they are a little less so than they used to be. The real progress comes from things like the CBR600, FZR600 et al, when a machine weighing 400lbs can do between 140and 150mph, handling nearly as well as a Bimota, turn in around 50mpg and run to 75000 miles before it needs much attention; and often with just a camchain change can make it past 100000 miles. In terms of on the road enjoyment these bikes have everything -  handling, balls out power, style...

Of course, the piss head stylists need to be taken outside and shot. These idiots have inflicted on us ridiculous rear discs, mono-shock suspension systems with rapid self destruct linkages, the need for four carbs when either two or even one would give almost the same performance (when was the last time you actually needed to cruise at 140mph, sonny?) and, worst of all, acres of plastic that doesn’t even manage to protect hands from the rain and cold. The latter stupidity is only matched by the tiny engine sprockets these machines come equipped with and the subsequent rapid demise of the chain.

However, many of these problems are common to all the Jap fours, air or watercooled, and the overall effectiveness of the modern race replicas on the road fun factor is so great, that like the handling deficiencies of earlier Japs, we will just have to put up with them until something better comes along. I fear that such improvement won't easily be won from the latest American fad, the
reintroduction of the Universal Japanese Motorcycle. Honda are relaunching the CB750 (albeit with a CBX750 engine) which at least has the common decency to have a drum rear brake.

Kawasaki have something called the Zephyr, a sort of GPz550 with a cut down, laid back look. Both have twin rear shocks, too much rake for decent handling and neither comes close to losing enough weight or even giving a cursory nod to improving economy (first reports indicate that they are very poor on fuel, adding insult to injury by being fitted with throwaway rear shocks).

My idea of a UJM is a FZR600 with raised bars to improve the dreadful riding position, the useless, impractical fairing donated to the nearest racetrack, a single carb, drum rear brake and a twin rear shock back end. This would be lighter, more economical and still able to hit 135mph, maintaining the excellent handling. The engine, although not covered in chrome, actually looks quite butch and functional once the GRP is taken off, so hardly any extra money would need to be spent tarting it up.

I had hoped that the new Triumph triples and fours would have shown such signs of common sense. I have absolutely no idea how these bikes perform on the road but I suspect their mere presence in the market will have many people eating their words. Watercooled, sporting four valves per cylinder, available in four different engine sizes from 750 to 1200cc, these across the frame multis are as complex as you can get - if all the British bike maniacs start saying how good they are when they hardly had a good word to say for equally complex Japs then we can all have a good laugh at their hypocrisy.

The Triumph engines owe absolutely nothing to the old British designs, being much more of a copy of Japanese multis; indeed to such an extent that any thought of innovation seems to have been dismissed out of hand. This shows in the frame, basically a large diameter single tube of the backbone type that is a paragon of simplicity until it gets to the swinging arm mounts; which is such a mess of bracketry that you want to scream insanely at the designers, mount the swinging arm on the back of the fucking engine cases (all the more pertinent as the large lump of attractive alloy serves as a stressed member, and the loss of precision through the build up of engineering tolerances would be minimal).

The smallest of the Triumphs is a 750cc triple without any fairing (that fitted to the larger machines is slick but lacking in protection). Styling in the photos is not particularly impressive save for the lump of alloy motor, although I suspect that in the flesh the lines will be much more attractive. Many chassis bits are brought out components, things like wheels (which look very much like those fitted to the GPz500) coming from abroad. It weighs 480lbs, has a rear disc, mono shock rear and, triple carbs and the usual electronic trickery.

Old style British engineering is limited to grease nipples on the alloy swinging arm. It will, however, be interesting to learn the size of the gearbox sprocket, old Brits having 19 to 21 teeth, Japs typically 15 to 16 teeth.

Those engine and chassis parts made in the factory are produced on state of the art production machinery. The overall effect, as far as I can tell, is a sort of British version of the BMWs... which is fair enough, for all its old engineering troubles the Triumph name still sells motorcycles, and BMWs are far from perfect, expensive bikes which a motorcycle manufacturer with a name with the panache of Triumph may well be able to compete with. 

But Triumph will survive or prosper on their pricing policy, I suspect. Unfortunately for them, they are a little late into the market. There was a time when it was possible to clean up if you produced Japanese reliability and performance with British style handling, that time has passed because the Japanese now produce machines that handle as well as anything else on the market. In fact, the only hole in the market is the one this column keeps on and on about: combine performance, light weight and good handling with economy, low running costs, a reasonable price and some protection to the rider's hands, and you’d make a fortune. Still, any modern, mass produced British motorcycle is a hell of a lot better than none!

Bill Fowler