Loose Lines [Issue 35, Mar/Apr 1992]

Like most government legislation aimed at curtailing motorcycling, the current necessity for motorcycle novices to take compulsory training has backfired. Numerous training organisations throughout the country are now able to offer bike hire and very rapid instruction in passing the motorcycle test.

Admittedly, having an instructor on your tail during the test is a lot worse than it used to be, but that it is now possible to obtain a full motorcycle licence without actually buying a 125cc motorcycle, makes it only a matter of time before bureaucrats start screaming about the fact that 17 year olds, once the test is passed, can leap on 170mph superbikes with a minimum of on the road experience. It can only be a matter of months until a second motorcycle test for machines bigger than 400cc is demanded.

In theory car drivers present the same problem, able to buy a Porsche 911 after only a few weeks learning to drive a car and passing the test. The difference is that a used Porsche 911 costs a hell of a lot more than some ancient wreck of a superbike. I shudder to think what would happen if I’d made my mistakes on a Z1000 with worn out suspension rather than a CD175, I fear I would have been dead meat pretty damn quick. Current accident statistics are used as a defence against imposition of the 400cc limit, but whether bigger bikes will still show up as safe as their smaller brothers in one, two years time is an open question.

Such is the decay of the superbike market that dealers are desperately flogging off 1000cc sportsters cheaper than they were last year or offering fantastic trade-in deals. Servicing charges, though, have gone up by as much as 25% and HP rates, with the dealers getting a nice backhander, are often over 30%. Asking your bank manager for a loan (to buy a nice little car) if you're still in employment is a much better bet.

Running costs of these litre bikes are pretty prohibitive. So much so that they can take the joy out of running one. An acquaintance quickly became disenchanted with his Honda CBR1000 when he found servicing costs varied between £250 and £300, tyres needed replacing every 3000 miles, pads every 5000 miles and chain every 8000 miles. Fuel averaged 35 to 40mpg. He likes riding motorcycles and regularly does 500 miles a week commuting and for kicks, so mileage built up quickly.
 
When he sat down and worked out the cost of a year's riding he found that the total was more than he paid for his last bike, a GPz550. When he tried to sell the CBR he found he would've lost an additional two grand. He’s now forced to curtail his mileage to essential riding and the odd weekend blitz. Sad but true.

It is possible to bung on cheapo tyres and miss out on the servicing, but it has to be remembered that these litre bikes are still heavy beasts that hide their mass under a combination of artfully contrived steering geometry and state of the art tyres. They also go out of tune quickly. Neglect and incorrect tyres quickly removes their civilised veneer, their handling goes to pot and vibes are more apparent than scintillating performance.

With the 100hp 600cc motorcycle a reality, the future of bigger bikes looks less and less positive. The prospect of variable valve timing being added to the delights of exhaust pipe trickery (EXUP to you) means that it’ll soon be possible to have your cake and eat it - such engines enabled to produce V-twin torque at low revs and run with the pack at higher revs. A by-product of such technology should be improved fuel economy. About time. too!

The new bike scene is not the only one suffering, classic bikes are becoming much harder to flog for exorbitant sums. Punters still trying to auction them off at 1990 prices are getting nowhere. It has to be remembered that the hallmark of past crashes in prices, be it shares, property or whatever, is that the value in a depression is merely 20% of the inflated value reached in the euphoria of ever increasing prices. This may seem extreme, but pricing any motorcycle at £50000 appears even more ridiculous. If you can now buy a Vincent for under ten grand it merely places the machine more in line with its value as a motorcycle rather than an investment vehicle.

There has always been a small market for British bikes that are still used every day on the road, working machines changing hands at between £500 and £1500. These big singles and twins are rarely standard, never polished to a pristine shine and usually feature upgraded electrics, bearings and tyres. They are unusually cheap to run, so much so that the savings in consumables more than pays for the frequent rebuilds. Long may they keep going.

There is absolutely no need for any motorcycle that has in the past been mass produced to be stored away as a priceless investment. There are several excellent museums in the UK where British bikes have been restored to their former glory and where the misty eyed can reflect nostalgically on their youth. Those who bought old British bikes solely as investments and can’t sell them for a fraction of the price they paid, can take one of the new training courses, pass their tests and jolly well use the beasts on the road. Eventually, prices will begin to rise and they will be able to sell them again, but hopefully by then they will have come to like motorcycling and will help swell the ranks.

The one sector in the motorcycle industry doing well are the breakers. People are holding on to their machines for longer and longer, unable to afford the ridiculous cost of new spares, they have to salvage what they can from bikes that have been crashed or blown up. Unfortunately, the increased demand has sparked off price increases for used spares, up anything from 10 to 25% over the year. If you can find a breaker who rides a bike rather than driving some hugely expensive car you've found the exception rather than the rule.

This new found wealth among breakers does not bode well for civil behaviour. I wandered into one Welsh breaker only to be met with a snarling, drooling canine, which rushed out of the back room like it was meal time and the Fowler frame constituted a tasty morsel for the massive brute. In between a reflex retreat, the speed of which I have only equalled when a Pattaya beach vendor shoved a live snake under my nose, and a hurried command from its owner to halt, I had time to mutter "Fuck that.”

The dog was some cross breed that was evidently produced with the intention of gaining a starring role in some particularly frightening horror movie. Not the first time this has happened, and probably not the last, I didn't stay around to swap insults with the owner and took my not inconsiderable business elsewhere

Another canine problem, at least in the city of Cardiff, is roving packs of dogs that try to attack motorcyclists. Having had one mutt nip my leg, I have become very wary of these dogs and tend to aim the front wheel straight at their heads. Full motorcycle gear is quite protective in canine attacks, and l have become adroit at slapping them in the head with my boot as I ride through them. The mess of poll tax and general indifference seems to have left local authorities with neither time nor energy to round up these strays. I suspect the problem will get worse rather than better.

Another council related problem facing motorcyclists, the terrible condition of the roads, will not fare any better. A friend fell off his bike because of a huge hole in the road, sued the council and won some compensation. He forgot to mention that he had neither tax nor insurance. It looks like the new breed of bikes with long travel suspension but otherwise set up for the road will win many friends in the UK as long as this neglect remains.

Neglect of another kind, the way the Japanese factories still refuse to develop economical (in the widest sense) machines that are also fun, does not bode well for the future of motorcycling over the next year. Given a few million I reckon I could do rather better, but as this appears an unlikely event I shall just have to keep on complaining. 

Bill Fowler