l have for the past five years worked as a long distance despatch rider. Based in London, I have been sent to all corners of the UK and even into Europe a couple of times. When long distance work is slack I do pop around London but as my bikes are set up for long distance work this is not very agreeable to either myself or machine. I reckon that in the last half decade I have done over half a million miles. Such high mileage tends to destroy motorcycles!
I have, for instance, owned no less than five GT750s. These tough Kawasakis are a standing joke amongst despatch riders, good up to about 75000 miles from then on just about everything starts to wear out. Still, they are cheap and very useful tools. My most vivid memory is having both wheel bearings go simultaneously on the M1. The bike had about 85000 miles up and was heavily laden.
The weave that rapidly turned into a wobble did nothing for my temper and the AA took an hour to turn up. They took me to my destination in great comfort and after delivering my parcels I pushed the GT three miles to a breakers and did a wheel swap; as the tyres on the replacement wheels were newish and the old ones down to 1mm I probably made a profit on the deal.
So hard is the wear and tear on my machines that I always have two bikes set up for the long distance work. I actually have two Honda 400 Superdreams, both running like clockwork with around 35000 miles on each clock, as back up to these and for running around town on. They were bought for less than 500 notes each and if my mileage was less than 200 miles a day I would recommend these bikes as fearless workhorses.
However, I often do more than 500 miles in a day and have done as much as 1200 miles. This inevitably means cruising along motorways at ton plus speeds, which in turn makes ownership of a powerful bike mandatory. At the moment I have a three year old, 22000 mile Kawasaki GT750 and a five year old BMW R100RS with only 18000 miles on the clock.
It’s my second R100RS, the first was all but knackered at 72000 miles and I quickly got shot of it after repairing the top end of each cylinder. I make it a general rule to sell bikes after they have done 75000 miles whether they are Japanese, Italian or German - beyond this figure too many bits wear out and they require too much attention to keep them running.
Apart from a months holiday starting on Christmas eve, I work the whole year round. It might seem strange, at first, to take a holiday in the depths of winter but that month is the very worst one for riding a motorcycle long distance and I can rent an apartment on the Costa del Sol for next to nothing. I have a whole month to recover in the sun, not even giving motorcycles a second thought. By the time I return I’m keen to get back in the saddle. Having lumbered myself with a huge mortgage. l have to earn at least £500 a week just to cover my basic living costs.
Both my long distance machines are usually fitted with huge Vetter style fairings and K & Q seats. The latter look funny but are wonderfully comfortable for long distances. The fairing provides total body protection, absolutely essential when you’re doing 500 miles in a torrential downpour.
The BMW, of course, comes with its own fairing, which does just as well as the big fairing at protecting the body, but the narrow, low bars of the BMW make it an absolute pain for more than half an hour of town riding. The RS is the only bike that comes standard as a well equipped long distance tourer. However, once above 100mph the chassis allows the machine to weave a little and vibration from the big horizontally opposed twin is uncomfortable enough to make you back off. The R80 is supposed to be better but I fear it would be a Iittle on the slow side.
The first RS rumbled along for 30000 miles with little attention needed to the engine if you were willing to ignore the fact that it should have its carbs balanced every 750 miles. With 37500 miles on the clock it required a new exhaust valve, new timing chain and the gearbox had become even more agricultural than before. The shaft drive started to leak oil at 45000 miles and both pushrod tubes allowed the black stuff to escape. The engine looked a bit of a mess but after various nuts were torqued down the flow of oil decreased significantly and the alloy always cleaned up. The wheels were impossible to clean but the quality of the paint was excellent. Tyre wear was quite moderate by Japanese standards but fuel consumption rarely bettered 35mpg.
Given the choice, I would use the GT750. On a long run it would do nearly 50mpg, a significant saving in fuel costs, and it refused to weave until 115mph was on the clock; admittedly the weave was a lot nearer a wobble than on the BMW and I very rarely pushed it beyond 120mph. However, considering that the GT was equipped with a massive fairing, panniers and top box this is not bad going. Vibes were never bad enough to make you back off or cause fingers to lose feeling. A set of cheapo Dunlops did around 12500 miles before whitelines started to upset the chassis.
However, finish on the GT was nowhere near as good as the teutonic machine The petrol tanks have a nasty habit of rusting on the inside. clogging up the filter and stalling the motor. Paint flakes off the swinging arm, frame and tank. Engine and wheel alloy rapidly turn to white dust once 40000 miles are on the clock.
This can all be attended to, much worse is the failure of the electronic ignition every 30000 miles and alternators regularly go at 50,000 miles. Disc brake caliper rot can be avoided by stripping down and cleaning up every 10000 miles. Suspension is shot after as little as 20000 miles, but it is still rideable. Yes, the GT is not a perfect long distance despatch mount, but failure on the road is very rare indeed and I have great faith in the bikes to take me long distances.
I always have one UJM in my stable, the other bike may be equally ubiquitous or may be a touch on the unusual side. The most unlikely machine was a Ducati Darmah. Equipped with stiff suspension this did little for my temper and it seemed to object to my marginal maintenance schedule (change the oil every week). It was good on fuel (55mpg) but consumed a couple of pints of oil every 500 miles. When the crankshaft started to rumble with 38000 miles on the clock (14000 of them in my hands) I rushed down to the local dealer and put it in part exchange for a nearly new GT750. To be fair to the Ducati, it never failed on the road, perhaps because a past owner had rewired and uprated the electrics.
I rarely keep a bike for more than a year, such is the mileage I clock up. Because I can't afford to lose much money on the deal I do spend a day cleaning them up, removing all the DR essentials to put on the next machine and don't actually mention my occupation.
Because I have a few bikes I can afford to wait for a decent offer to come along; quite often I break even or make a slight profit on the deal. I had one chap come back in a rage after the crankshaft started to rumble on a GT750 with 89000 miles on the clock, but I just told him to go talk to the police about it. I heard no more.
One bike I certainly didn't make a profit on was a Honda CB750F2. Remember these? Probably not, I bought it with a moderate 19000 miles on the clock and it only lasted for 7500 miles before the top end disintegrated. After I fixed that with a used cylinder head from a breaker it only did another 5500 miles before the pistons seized up. There was even play in the crankshaft. I slotted in a used motor from another breaker, at great expense, did another 4000 miles until I felt the power dropping off and it objected to doing 100 miles at 110mph, whereupon I sold it off before it could cause any more wallet damage.
Another bike that should have been good value but wasn't was a GS850 shaftie. It had 22000 miles on the clock and I thought I had picked up a real bargain. The motor purred along at 100mph as if it was just turning over, whilst the chassis sat on the road in way that belied its massive weight and poor suspension.
However, 50 miles up the M1 the machine stuttered into silence. Yes, the dreaded electrical demise, the battery was flat. After replacement of battery, regulator/rectifier and alternator the bike ran fine for 1600 miles then did the same trick again, this time just outside Manchester. Still, I saved on petrol that time with a free ride home from the AA. I rewired the beast as well this time, but the new stuff was burnt to a cinder after another 3000 miles. I had enough of that nonsense, patched the bike up and sold it off (at quite a profit, so it was not a total disaster).
Funnily enough. the bike I've had with the highest mileage was another Suzuki and it had no alternator problems. An early GS750 which I was so impressed with I kept until it had done 154000 miles, 123000 of those in my own abusive hands. I was probably pushing my luck keeping it for so long, but most of the engine was still stock when I sold it, the motor had needed just three camchains, two tensioners and one clutch. Impressive or what? And that on a diet of neglect that would have seen lesser machines on the scrapheap in less than a quarter of the Suzuki’s mileage.
The chassis was not so impressive. the frame. tank and sidepanels were the only things that remained from the original machine. Partly through wear and partly through the fact that it was quite easy to fall off, lacking very much in the way of feedback from the road. In the end I think it ended up with a GS1000 front end, an alloy swinging arm and shocks that were originally meant for a big Kawasaki four, and a few other mods that meant I could actually tell what was happening at the wheels.
It was sold, very sadly, when the vibration level increased noticeably and I began to suspect that its roller bearing crankshaft was on the way out. If I had the choice of buying any new machine again I think it would be a GS750.
I have not mentioned the way that exhaust systems disintegrate yet. It has to be said that every machine I have owned, whether fitted with stock or aftermarket systems has failed in some way at some time. My solution is not to buy another system that, at best, will last 25000 miles but to patch up the existing system as best I can with my welding gear.
When a silencer does finally fall apart it is removed or sawn off and replaced with one of those universal megas which are cheap and last well if you can stand the rust spots that creep in under the chrome. One collector box I had ended up so patched that there was none of the original metal left.
The newest machine I have owned has been a Kawasaki ZX-10. I couldn't fit my fairing to this bike because of all the plastic work and it was not that comfortable a machine to ride at ton plus speeds, never mind the 160mph it was capable of. My initial impressions of this machine were favourable. it was even quite economical, averaging 42mpg even when caned mercilessly. I once did 200 miles in 90 minutes, a fantastic motorway blast but one that left me barely able to stand once I'd arrived at my destination.
What turned me off the big Kawasaki was the weekly need for a set of new, hugely expensive tyres and its need for frequent engine maintenance to stop it going out of tune. I'm no sping chicken as far as working on motorcycles go. but the amount of hassle getting to the valvegear was incredible! After the second week of use, when the new set of tyres were almost worn out, I flogged it off before it bankrupted me.
A very careful line has to be drawn between engine power and consumable wear. Too little power and it takes too long to do the job which means loss of money. Too much power and the machine wears out tyres and chains too quickly, which again means a loss of money.
Engine reliability goes without saying, which is why nearly all my machines have been four strokes. The one exception was a Yamaha 350YPVS which I picked up very cheaply with just 4500 miles on the clock. It came with a full race fairing and even I realised that the little Yamaha would’ve looked very ridiculous fitted with my big touring rig.
I was pleasantly surprised by the way the two stroke twin buzzed along at 110mph all day without a care in the world. Averaging 37mpg, it was not that much more thirsty than some big four strokes, whilst the total loss oil system meant I didn't have to bother changing the oil every week.
I did 35000 miles on the Yam without much trouble, although it went through sprockets and chains every 10000 miles. By the time I finished with it the cycle parts were in a disgusting state, I’d gone through three sets of calipers and the engine evidently needed a rebore as it would no longer shoot past the ton in top gear. What had previously been a delightfully stable and flickable device had by then become a real wobbler. If I hadn't bought it so cheaply in the first place I would have lost a lot of money on that one.
I have had a couple of GT550s as well as the GT750 - in fact, there has rarely been a time when there hasn’t been a Kawasaki four in the garage but at the speeds I tend to ride I find the smaller motor wears out much quicker than its bigger brother. Twice I have had to raid the breakers for a set of barrels and pistons (one machine needed a rebore at 44000, the other at 52000 miles). For town use, the 550 would certainly be the better bet as it’s slightly cheaper to run and buy. Like the 750, the 550 also has suspect ignition and less than perfect finish once the mileometer is past the halfway mark.
Another machine that didn't fare very well under high speed use was a CX650. It already had 37500 miles on the clock and I really had to cane the motor to get the kinds of velocities I needed. The poor old watercooled V-win blew both its head gaskets, half seized up and made a terrible racket when I finally came to a halt. The recovery services helped out again and I sold the I remains to a mate who uses plastic maggots in town - he has enough spare CXs to go into business on his own account. No understanding some tastes.
I crash about twice a year, although in five years I have only had one high speed accident. The back tyre of a GT750 blew, catapulting the machine into the side of a car when we were both doing 70mph on the M4. How I survived serious injury I don’t know.
The full leathers took most of the gravel rash, the twisted and mangled GT was revived with the insurance money and a raid on several breakers. The car driver was in a greater state of shock than myself. I have been riding motorcycles for 25 years so generally know what I’m doing.
My advice to anyone thinking of taking up long distance despatching is to think about it carefully. You make good money, although the current recession has taken my earnings down by 30%, but it ruins machines to the extent that you have to know a lot about motorcycles, be able to fix them up yourself and know how to find a bargain buy.
I know one chap who buys a new bike every year, trading in the old one and suffering massive depreciation in exchange for peace of mind and lack of hassle. For me, I love riding motorcycles but don't want to piss around taking an overdose of pollution in city centres. Speeding up and down the country in all weathers, I find I am at one with myself in a world all of my own. I will however, when I start to become irritated and angry with the job, eventually pack it in.
I know several people who have done the job for too long, when they had lost all the joy of it, who ended up in heavy accidents. One lost a leg, another was in hospital for six months and a third has never ridden a bike since walking away from a 120mph crash. It’s not the kind of job everyone can do.
Joseph Slade