Sunday 26 July 2020

Femme Fatalities

Having been into bikes for almost twenty years, I fall into the age bracket that took the old 250cc one part test. At that time I owned a BSA Starfire complete with white banana seat, ape hangers and mega - and I still passed my test first go! The bike ran OK for about 4 years (only had to bump start it about twice a month) and then the problematic timing got the better of it. As first bikes go, I quite liked it, until it stopped running, that is.

However, the combination of moving abroad and then to Brighton meant that it got neglected, left outside my parents' house for a couple of years. It eventually got transported down to Brighton, but it never really ran right again, despite several attempts to rectify the timing problem. Anyway, one day in the pub a kid offered me the same as I paid for it and I bid it an happy farewell.

I acquired a Z200 for £5 from a farmer who'd neglected it in his chicken shed - the tank was bashed in, it had wooden side-panels and needed a good clean, but for £5 what can you say?

After moving back to the Midlands, a 250 Superdream tank was acquired and resprayed, which stopped It looking so puny. This was more of a hack and only really got used for short journeys and on one occasion for the Brum demo. However, when the top end started knocking I decided to give it the elbow, got £100 for it from a kid who'd recently passed his test, not a bad profit.

Next, after seeing a telly programme on the Enfield India, I decided I had to have one. It was about a year before I had enough money to buy one. Used examples were hard to come by and I ended up getting it from a bloke in Devon and trailering it back home. I got the 350 version, which was a heavy old single, with kickstart and up-side-down gearing.

All of this and the brakes (or lack of them) made for interesting riding. As my bike was usually the donkey, so that the other half could pose on his chop, this increased the lack of braking. | managed to get 85mph out of it - down a hill with the wind behind me! The combination of difficult starting, heaviness and lack of braking meant it had to go, especially after I missed running into the back of a mate's Harley by a gnat’s willy.

Next buy was a Honda CB250RS, the complete opposite weight-wise to the Enfield. The main reason for buying this bike, it was an excellent condition, low mileage bargain and I knew some of its history. I rode this to a few rallies and even managed to get the long distance female award at a couple. I never really liked the lightness of this bike, which made you vulnerable in the wind. I let it go after a particularly frightening tank-slapper on the M23 thanks to a lorry passing too close.

The money went into the business and efforts were concentrated on converting a Z750 twin (picked up as a box of bits for £30) into a low-rider. Then life got in the way, the business failed, hubby lost the plot and wanted to start a family. So, one divorce and a new partner later, the Z is now much nearer completion. As anyone will know who's tried to build a bike from the ground up, it takes a lot of time and money, plus frustration trying to source missing parts from breakers. There are the good guys and there are the bad ones who'll sell you anything or who can't be bothered.

Anyway, him indoors, whilst cooking the Xmas dinner (ha! ha!) decided he would buy me a new bike. I've now got an FZX700 Fazer, which I’m well pleased with. An import, bought from American Imports in Norfolk (highly recommended). They are low, easy to ride and the brakes work! - they have to as most car drivers seem to have had lobotomies. I’ve done two long trips already this year in the wind and rain - muddy fields and hangovers don’t mix on a Sunday morning - so I'm hoping for a brilliant summer.

JF