A Morini 500 V-twin seemed like a good idea at the time, part of a logical progression even. Three years with a Mark 1 Le Mans had convinced me that Italian V-twins were the only way to go. I was in love with the engine configuration. They felt alive - machines yes, but distantly human. It wasn't something I was used to, having owned mainly Jap machines. I liked the way they could be grumpy and bad mannered or lively and naughty depending on the way I was feeling.
The Le Mans could plonk around (if it was in the right gear), it shuddered when you opened the throttle quickly, but it all smoothed out at about seventy and just became smoother and smoother the quicker one went. Of course, I was really in love with Guzzis. Unfortunately, I'd written the bike off twice in serious accidents and I decided it was jinxed (that's one way of excusing my highway lunacy). So not being able to face another rebuild, and having to deal with shitty spares suppliers (note - do try to avoid pattern fork legs, mudguards and seats), I turned my back on my Cortina modified dream and went in search of a smaller Italian V. Something that was easier to chuck around, that would give me a chance to wring its neck; something I couldn't do on it loved the open road and I never seem to find myself there as much I used to.
Morini's 350 had proved to be the critics choice for several years. I preferred the 500 because it was bigger. I did try a Monza, but decided I could do without that Guzzi ponderous and clonky gear change and, anyway, was unimpressed with the power or lack of it. So why buy a Maestro. It wasn't fast. But just look at one, what lines, red frame, red tank, decent shocks (no more useless Guzzi stuff). Lightness, balance, elan. Oh! It has to be the second most beautiful motorcycle in the world (the Mark 1 Le Mans is the first of course). And the noise... mine had a two into one exhaust (a disaster for performance, I found out later) which spat out the monoxide in tight controlled farts - it sounded like a 900SS going down the Snetterton straight when it was standing still, which admittedly is how it spent most of its time.
When I test rode the bike I was surprised by how much it vibrated, and it did feel a bit asthmatic and should I really be paying £1000 for a bike with nearly thirty thousand on the clock? No I shouldn't have, but I fell in love with its looks and I paid the price. What I should have done was offered £400 for the rolling chassis and slotted in an engine that was deserving of such precision and feel. Something like a tuned 500 single. Would a mildly breathed on B33 engine spoil the balance? I guess so. In fact, it would have snagged the bottom frame rails, wouldn't it? (A tuned SP370 engine, anyone? - Ed).
Well I did buy it, but I can tell you nothing about petrol consumption, tyre wear, brake pad wear, etc because I never had the chance to wear them out. Someone else had already done that for me. It never occurred to me to try the kickstart, that was until the next day when the electric start packed up (a common fault, I found out later). That didn't work either, all the teeth on the gear were stripped. God, I felt silly. It was bump start from them on, and I'd only had the thing two days.
The apparent breathlessness which I thought I could fix with a good service, was nothing less than a shot engine. Rings, pistons, small ends, timing belt, valves and guides. I had no choice but to pretend it wasn't happening to me. as I couldn't afford to tax it, let alone pay for an engine rebuild. Just too much damage for a UB40 to bear, On the day some poor bugger stole the bike, it would only do 55mph. It must have been. the slowest get-away ever.
I'd like to have a go on a good one, but I wouldn't go out of my way, you understand. I would buy a good rolling chassis, though. My guess is that everything the press enthused about in the 350 was lost in the 500 version. For chrissakes they even turbo-charged one, what must that have felt like? Yuck. I would love another Le Mans but there is so much wrong with them, I think it'll have to be a Spada. I'll just have to try to make it look like a Le Mans instead of a pale blue dog kennel with a clock in the porch (Help! - Ed).
But this is all conjecture, my Honda 90 has a misfire I can't cure, and I haven't £15 let alone £1500. Can you believe that batteries for my pushbike lamps cost £4.40 the other day! Shocking isn't it? Happy riding.
Robert Garnham