The Good Duke Guide

I've owned a lot of Ducatis since the seventies. An admittance that must reveal some kind of admiration for the breed. Well, yes, when they run well...

Ducati 250 24 Hours My first Ducati was bought as a rat in 1975. I've never seen a dealer look so relieved to see a bike go out of his showroom. This three year old looked like it was stolen and recovered. Built in Spain under licence it was rumoured to do the ton! Cafe racer style beneath the corrosion. First lesson in Ducati lore - don't try to start one unless the ignition’s been checked. My ankle felt like it was broken and I howled like a dog that’d been run over by a car. After setting the ignition I then had fireballs coming out of the open carb. After the sixth kickback left me hobbling like a geriatric for a week I gave up. I cleaned the bike up and sold it on for a small profit. I later learnt than the engine was crap, with poor quality materials in the components and that the thing had seized after a mere fifty miles down the road.

Ducati 350 Mk.3 When I started the bike from cold with one kick I knew it had to be a good ’un. I was actually shaking at the prospect. I owned the Mk.3 between 12000 and 21000 miles. They reckon the 350 is the best single. The best mix of performance, economy, reliability and vibration. Good for the ton if you could take the ball shrinking vibes. Mostly, I kept her below 80mph and bellowed down my favourite country road lanes. But not in the dark as the electrical system was dangerous. Using the lights was quite likely to start a fire in the wiring loom! The end came when the big-end and main bearings went. I was told that I was lucky to have got that mileage out of the engine, though I'd always done 500 mile oil changes with straight oil. The knocking Duke was traded for a big Honda four.

Ducati 250 Desmo Bright yellow, loud and brash. I saw it in the dealers and had to have it. A week later I was going crazy. Yep, the bugger was kicking back every time I came within a yard. My woman reckoned I had VD from the way I was hobbling around. I tried everything I could think of to no avail. I came to loathe the bike, frightened that I was going to end up with a broken ankle. Lovely motorcycle to ride, though, for some reason; smooth right up to 90mph. 95mph top speed, 85mpg economy! The end came when I staggered out of the pub to see some yobs dropping matches in the petrol tank. I screamed at them but it was too late, the Duke was on fire. Within ten minutes it was a blackened blob.

Ducati 450 Desmo It was madness to buy more of the same but an example came along when I had the cash. This bike was a disaster from day one. It started after six kicks but before it warmed up the carb had vibrated loose. On the first ride my fingers and feet went dead within ten minutes and a trail of cycle parts disappeared. The engine bolts were all wrong, too small, letting the mill shake around. I felt pretty clever knocking in the correct bolts until I realised a couple of holes would not line up. The simple but effective single downtube frame was bent! I'd assumed the handlebar wobble was down to the vibes, which made me shake. I didn't keep the bike long after that.

Ducati 500 Twin No-one liked these bikes. Journos threw up in disgust. Ducati enthusiasts cried or laughed. After the big singles I found the vertical twin not half bad, with most of the handling virtues (the back end was a bit loose but didn’t actually throw me off). I bought a 7000 miler and did 12000 miles without a whiff of engine trouble. Yep, there was some vibration, but after a 450 Desmo single it didn't seem too bad to me. The tank split, the seat fell apart and the back wheel cracked up, all coming together at about 9000 miles: The electrics provided hours of roadside repairs and lots of hair loss. An obsessional interest in a 750SS meant it had to go, for more money than I originally paid.

Ducati 750SS Oh, so many people became crazy about this bike. In retrospect it’s hard to understand but at the time I was far gone. It was like Ducati had doubled up the sublime 350 single in a V-twin mill. A huge rise in power, improved handling and the elimination of most of the vibration. The same finicky electrics, even harsher kickbacks when something went out of adjustment and a very basic comfort level. The various elements of the bike would come together brilliantly on the twistier A-roads and hours could be blown eating up my favourite bits of road. Somewhere along the line I became god-like, couldn't do a thing wrong. The laws of physics interceded when I'd reached an incredible angle of lean. These days it wouldn't have been a problem, back then tyre technology was still in the bicycle era. I’m not sure what was worse, writing off the Duke (on TPF&T) or breaking a leg!

Ducati 860 Darmah I needed a sensible motorcycle but one that wouldn't drive me crazy with boredom. Enter the Darmah. Lovely looker, lots of thumping torque and steady handling. Didn't have the edge of the 750SS, but I didn’t have the edge of my younger self. Did loads of touring on-this fine machine, wife on the back and masses of luggage. Stick her in top, just let the thumping torque do the work. With 28000 miles came those rumbling mains. I was so impressed that I paid for the rebuild. That only lasted for 9000 miles, rather less impressive. Goodbye Darmah.

Ducati 600 Pantah A new type of Ducati, so they said when the 500 version came out. I let them sort out the teething problems before trying one of the 600s. Old Ducati hands learn the hard way and have an aversion to being unpaid development riders. Harder revving than the old bikes, I liked the way it handled and the lights actually worked. Wow! 15000 miles of madness followed, my edge coming back as the pain of the broken leg faded into the mists of time. I even did a few circuits of a race-track when there was an open day. Suicide merchants! I sold the bike before anything serious went wrong, with a tear in my eye. A nice example of Ducati at their best, but not after there’s more than 30000 miles on the clock.

Ducati 250 Mk.3 How could I do it? How could I do it? I should just’ve booked into the nearest lunatic asylum and demanded a frontal lobotomy. Not any 250 Mk.3 but one with a worked over engine that had done wonders on the race track. The bicycle lamps and bulb horn should’ve given the game away, but that majestic motor with shining alloy and a gleaming chassis got to me. I didn’t really get beyond the starting hassles completely psychotic. One time it'd crunch into life first time, others it'd try to launch me into space. I mean that literally, one time my helmet whacked into the garage roof. Ouch! I managed to sell the bike at a tiny profit! I threw a party in celebration. At that kind of age Ducati singles are real killers. Monsters.

Ducati 750 Paso The fully enclosed looks were a bit of a shock to the system but the Pantah inspired motor kept me interested. Not for long! The electrics were as nasty as those on the old 250 single (though no starting problems) but about ten times more complex. The dealer tried to hide after the fifth time. Cutting out, small fires and lights that blew. When it ran the experience was beautiful, when it didn’t it made me cry! When the clutch drum blew up that was it. Still under guarantee, the dealer was threatened with death if he didn't take it back. I lost five hundred notes and heard the dealer lost a lot more when he shifted it through an auction. He doesn't talk to me any more.

Ducati 900SS I never give up, the intoxicating experience of a hard running V-twin was in my blood. I bought a one year old with just 2200 miles. Even the wife was taken by the looks, if not the pillion perch. Within the first week, the clutch was slipping. Oh god, not another pile of junk. I had that fixed with stiffer springs and racing plates. It made the left hand scream in protest but so far I’ve done 25000 miles of pure, pure joy. Happiness at last. Except I want a 916. Waaaaaaaaaah!

Greg Williams