Yamaha XS400SE

I could not believe my eyes - my 14 year old CB175 was gone. Someone with only a quarter of a brain had nicked it. Four days later I was called to the police station to identify the wreckage. It had an extra 500 miles on the clock - the whole street must have been using it. Sadly the engine was seized up and the rest of the bike had been vandalised.

The 16 year old tea had 12 other previous convictions for thefts - do you think that 5 hours community service was justice? [Wiring up such scum to the mains would be too kind - 2022 Ed.] While in this state of shock I was offered an A-registered Yam 400 Custom with only 2000 miles on clock; the price was so low that, like fool, I bought it without seeing the decaying beast. The bike had been stored in a shed for a few months. The engine didn’t rotate, and if the chrome shone, the alloy and paintwork most certainly didn't.

The spark plugs creaked and groaned as I removed them from the head, terrified that one would snap off. Two friends with a combined mass of 32 stone managed to get the engine to over after I'd poured in a few gallons of releasing fluid. Even more oil and my 10 stones can do it too.

Much to my surprise, the motor started and ran OK. Naturally the silencers fell off due to an excess of rust. Many amusing hours were spent hammering and swearing a Motad two into one into place; lt. was so warped by the time I finished that I wrote Motad a letter, but received no reply. Tut, tut.

I was going to paint the poxy engine alloy in black Hammerite, but the boss was on holiday, giving me the chance to train the two YTS kids in the art of engine cleaning using Brillo pads. I also junked the ape hanger style bars in favour of those from a Honda 250. The bike was taking shape, albeit a funny shape to many eyes.

I soon loosened up the engine commuting back and forth to work. The SOHC twin cylinder engine has quite strong low down power, a fairly decent top end and gives around sixty to the gallon. The camchain is self adjusting, in 7000 miles I haven’t had to adjust the tappets, although if I don’t adjust the ignition timing every month the last 800rpm disappears in top gear. It does vibrate though, not as bad as a Triumph, but a similar type of vibration as a Brit bike, not so surprising as the engine has no balance shaft.

The controls are really good and neat touches are the self-cancelling indicators and dirt protector on the clutch cable. Bad point is the sloppy fit of the rubber mounted footrests - I just can’t get used to the way they flop around. The calipers keep seizing up despite application of Copaslip. The paint is cheap and nasty, peeling off.

For three days I commuted 220 miles a day without any problems. High cruising speeds got the fuel down to a mere 50mpg. Nothing broke or fell off and the bike used no oil. I don’t use a fancy, overpriced motorcycle oil but use the same 15/40W oil that we use in our fleet of diesel trucks. I know that bike oil is overpriced because I order oil for the trucks at work and know the technical reps for the oil companies - don’t buy oil from a bike shop unless you’ve more money than sense.

The rear chain lasts for a mere 6000 miles, points last for about 10000 miles and it’s a lot cheaper to fit Champion N7Y spark plugs at 99p for four from all good car shops. Although I’m well past the first flush of youth, and I know I shouldn’t do it, but such is the power spread of the XS400 engine that I go looking for cars to race; highly stupid but great fun.

It’s a strange looking bike, 16" back wheel, King & Queen seat, peanut tank and flat bars, but it has a distinctive sound, will cruise at 80mph two up, even handles quite well as long as you’re not too stupid and is generally good fun to ride. Fun can on occasion turn to fright when the strangeness of the steering geometry intrudes into the usual reasonable stability, usually a result of something touching down when leaned over or hitting a series of bumps on the softly sprung suspension. But, the combination of relatively mild power and a mass of around 400lbs makes it a case of being easily corrected with a bit of muscle or, for the brave, hanging on until it straightens itself out.

One bad point is that bits are hard to find and not interchangeable with the much more common XS250. Overall, I’ve bought much worse bikes for much more money so I’m not going to complain.

William Gould