“Nah, mate, that rattling’s normal. They all do that from cold.”
“Sounds like a shot camchain"
“Nah, mate, just loose clearances. Tighten up the valves and she’d be fine.”
“These engines are well known for shot camchains.”
“Nah, that was the old air-cooled motors. These water-cooled jobs are rock solid.”
“No, CBR1000s are infamous for dodgy tensioners. It says so in the Used Motorcycle Guide.”
“Nah, maybe it needs an adjustment...”
“The tensioner’s automatic. It’s shot. I'll give you 900 for it, mate. Got the cash right here.”
“Nah, I'll take a loss at that price. 1200!”
“I can't go higher than a grand.”
“Nah... hang on, bud, don’t walk away.”
“£1100 and you deliver. It'll cost £150 to fix the camchain and a hell of a lot of hassle.”
“OK, OK. Daylight robbery but it's been slow this month. Let’s get the damn thing in the van.”
The next day I had the bike stripped of all its plastic. Most of the fairing fell apart when I tore it off. Replica plastic, used lights and indicators, and a replacement camchain set me back nearly 500 notes, but within a week I had a brutal looking CBR ready for the road; brutal because the plastic was still in primer.
For those who have been hidden under a rock for the past few years, the CBR1000 has a water-cooled, DOHC, 16 valve, four cylinder engine that develops 135hp at 9500rpm, hidden under a swathe of plastic that gives the whole machine a thoroughly integrated appearance. The only areas the CBR shows any lack of modernity in its designs are the usual naff Honda tensioner/camchain and an excessive, all up mass of some 540lbs.
With a 31 inch seat height and a great chunk of plastic tank cover to grip between knees immediate impressions are quite soothing to those of a nervous disposition, and using a mild bit of throttle the Honda was actually easier to ride than the CB750F1 with which it shared garage space. Riding through town, I thought, nothing to it. I could even roll to a stop with both feet up and sit there in perfect balance for as long as I could hold my breath.
Up to 5000 revs it moved fast but was in no way close to being frightening or hard to control. With a 59 inch wheelbase there was a bit of a tussle to move through spaces in traffic and I always had to back into parking spaces as I could never push the mass back out. The turning circle was not impressive, three point turns often being eight point turns and excessive input causing the thing to fall right over. Still, with a bit of care and thought, a reasonable pace through town could be maintained.
A couple of weeks went by before I could get out of London. Aha, this is going to be FUN! Hit 5000 revs and the power starts flowing in hard all the way up to ten grand. The plastic provided lots of protection from the howling gale, making 120mph a sensible cruising speed, apart from the minor fact that my licence was already close to expiring from being booked for 125mph on the F1, a thrash from which the engine was still trying to recover. A quick blip to a heart attack inspiring 150mph and then it was back to 80mph, which felt like tickover and was, after five minutes, incredibly boring.
A Transit van pulled alongside, about an inch away. A huge hooligan tried to push me off the bike. The resulting wobble had my mind reeling, so I let loose on the throttle again. 160mph came up on the speedo after a while, with a bit of a weave at the back end, which I put down to the rear Conti being down to 2mm. The Transit was left way behind, never to be seen again. Silly buggers.
Long sweeping curves taken at about the ton showed up the front end as it shook about. Not so much to make me back off but it felt like the kind of looseness that if a big bump was hit all hell would break out. Anyway, I did a couple of hundred miles in an afternoon, generally impressed with the way the bike went. Coming back some clouds let loose and the tyres didn't seem to have much of a grip on the road, whilst I was too scared of their power to use the front discs. I had a few wild slides from the back end as its caliper was a bit gummed up with road grime and tended to suddenly slam on the back brake. Bowel emptying was the best description of 540lbs trying to go out of control. It was pretty easy to understand how the bike had been thrown down the road.
With Autumn setting in and the wet weather coming in with a fury, a new set of Metzelers were fitted. The plastic provided some protection from the elements, but not enough for my liking, and the new tyres gave a much more assured feel, allowing me to use a modicum of throttle and even the front brake.
The tyres only lasted 4000 miles, which coincided with all the brake pads going down to the metal, the calipers seizing up and the massive O-ring chain trying to fall off the shagged sprockets. I nearly wept after my bank account was emptied out fixing that, but was soon in good spirits with some A-road excesses and some jerk coming along with 750 sovs for the nearly dead CB750F1. He was going to fit K1 parts and pretend he had a classic! Some people never learn.
The Honda was too heavy to ever be really accomplished on the twistier roads, but it never had any nasty surprises up its sleeve - it was just a question of exerting excessive muscle and not going over so far as to scrape the undercarriage. Not unless you want to fall off in a shower of sparks and a trail of blood and broken bones. I was continuously amazed at how comfortable it was to ride at highly illegal speeds; it had the tireless quality of a BMW boxer.
I had the plastic sprayed blue, red and white, which gave an immediate improvement in safety as the primer meant it tended to merge into the tarmac whilst the large expanse of white rearing up in cagers mirrors made them swerve off the road thinking the police were about to arrest them. Brill!
Fuel consumption was around 40mpg which, given its mass and power, was quite good, no worse than the F1. Oil didn’t need topping up between 3000 mile changes, which was when the carbs needed a balance although the valves never went out of their clearance limits. With all the plastic in the way, any maintenance chore, even just changing the spark plugs, was a major job. The replica plastic was very thin, cracking if replaced with less than tender loving care. It also thrummed at around 7000rpm, although there wasn’t much by way of secondary vibes.
During the winter the Honda was just used for the commuting chores and would start first press of the button even when there were icicles hanging off the fairing. Impressive! My hands still froze to death in the sub zero temperatures and some horrendous fishtailing took place when the back wheel hit ice just as I was opening up the throttle.
I was all set for the spring madness when, with 32000 miles up, the damn camchain started to rattle again. I fixed it but decided that with such a lack of fidelity it'd have to go. I was spending a small fortune on consumables and the very least I expected was reliable running. Even with that expense I made over a grand in profit on the deal so it was a good experience. I’ve now bought a CBR600 which is even more fun and a touch cheaper to run.
Eric Richards