The hack: Z200 (Not so much a Trusty Steed, as a Dependable Donkey!). I first saw the Zed around 7 or 8 years ago when looking for a second bike, but at 500 quid it was far too dear for a V reg. Around 4 years ago when looking for a winter hack to use when the snow got too much for the Trident I spied an ad in the local rag for a Z200. Turned out it was the same bike I'd looked at all those years ago, except now it had changed hands as the old bloke who used to own it had popped his clogs and his nephew had now inherited it.
The guy had not run the Z for 4 years and was selling to help finance the restoration of his TR7. It was advertised at 350 quid, but when I turned up it refused to start and I picked it up for 200 notes, hoping that the reason it refused to start was the stale petrol in the tank which smelt like paint thinner!
When I got it home it started first time after flushing out the tank and cleaning the carb - bargain or what? Anyway since buying the bike it has been totally reliable. Getting me to work in the shittiest weather imaginable, everything from 2ft snow drifts to raging floods! Nothing's ever gone wrong with it apart from the usual consumables, and it only let me down once due to me putting in too cold a plug. Averages 75mpg, chain and sprockets last around 13000 miles while the rear tyre lasts 15000 miles, I've never worn out a front tyre in 20000 miles.
Pads also last forever probably due to the wacky cable operated disc, and I'm still on the original rear drum shoes! When I had to replace the head bearings I got some from a push-bike shop for 3 quid, check it out it's far cheaper. I also picked up a new pair of shocks and a seat cover for a tenner at an auto-jumble. The oil is changed every month, the filter every three, and costs sod all really. I also got most of a spare engine with the bike, so I should be able to keep it running for a few years yet!
Miillennium Bullet: the rebirth of a Enfield India 500 Bullet! | got a bit of a hankering for a big Brit single after borrowing a mate's Beesa, and ended up travelling from Elgin to the Isle Of Sky to pick up an Enfield 500 Bullet. On getting it home and running it for a while I discovered why they are so cheap, because the engineering's shite!
Over the last 2 years I've made that many mods that it's virtually a new bike, in fact it should be fully finished by the year 2000 so I'm going to call it a Millennium Bullet! I'm not exactly sure which model I've got, it's got a disc front end (Brembo no less!), and a black and chrome tank. The ‘Deluxe’ perhaps?
Anyway, here are all the useful mods that you can carry out to transform the Enfield Indian 500 Bullet from a 65mph/70mpg oil burning, lumbering behemoth, into the ‘Millennium Bullet’: a 100mph/85mpg full of torque, reliable, stonking single.
Firstly, before I started, I looked around to gather as much info about real Enfields as I could. Old ‘Bacon's' guide proved yet again to be a goldmine of information. I also found out about a company called RED Engineering (Hi Reg), which has a good rep for gas-flowing, unleaded conversions and the like. Burton Bike Bits also proved to be the cheapest and most comprehensive source of spares.
My first tip is don't buy gaskets, make your own and save a fortune. Just go into any decent motor factors and buy a selection of gasket paper. Then get hold of a modelling knife and bob's-your-uncle, cheap gaskets. When making the holes for bolts and oil ways use old bits of hydraulic pipe sharpened at one end, and case hardened, you then also have a set of punches for sod all.
The first thing I did was to sort out the rolling chassis. Out went the rear shocks in favour of a set of Hagons. I also rebuilt the front end, re-valving it and using heavier oil to suit. Spacers were also put in to pre-load the springs. What a difference that made alone!
Next | junked the original dual ‘plank’ and rear pegs for a Lynsett sprung saddle. No passengers on this bike, matey! Mmm, comfy or what? | then totally rewired the bike, putting in fuses for all the main circuits, as before there was only one for the battery line. I also relocated the battery, fusebox and ignition switch in the side panels to tidy things up a bit. With the wiring sorted and a lecky ignition fitted not only did the bike start and run a lot better, but all the lights were brighter thanks to the correct amperage wiring and decent connectors.
The bars were also changed for flatter, wider items, instead of the fuckin' rancid semi-custom jobs that were originally fitted as standard! I also fitted a pair of stainless guards as the quality of the chrome on the original items led me to believe that the chrome had been applied to rusty old steel by a one armed blind man (who with his whacked out brother seemed to have assembled the rest of the bike!).
The engine and gearbox were obviously redesigned and built by Billy Bodgit! Why were all the original bushes made of steel and looked like they had been machined on a Black & Decker with a trowel? And why was there more slack in the bearings than a Liverpudiian prostitute's pud? | ended up replacing the lot with quality British items (whatever became of the Great British Empire?).
The gearbox worked fine once rebuilt with a bit of TLC. Next came the engine. Not too bad really once all the bearings were replaced, until I looked carefully at the barrels and head that is! The barrel turned out to be porous and as it was cast iron was only really fit for the bin. Never mind I got hold of an alloy barrel 'n' piston really cheap from Burton Bike Bits.
While checking out the head and carb I discovered the reason for the piss poor performance and fuel consumption. The casting was that restrictive at the exhaust port that your couldn't even get your pinky up by the valve stem, plus the carb was also a weenie 28 the same size that Enfield fitted to the 350.
I must admit at this point I took the easy way out and sent the head off to RED Engineering, who did a splendiferous job of gas-flowing the head to suit a 34mm Amal, which is what Royal Enfield fitted to their works machines. I also had a lead-free conversion done as it only cost an extra 35 quid. While the head was off I also fitted alloy rocker assemblies as opposed to the original shitty steel ones.
With the engine back in the frame I fitted an original Royal Enfield exhaust system, as opposed to the Indian scaffolding pipe, along with a Goldie silencer (silencer being a bit of a misnomer!), which together with a K&N filter enabled the engine to breathe properly. Fuck me, what a difference!
Once run in the bike will now pull cleanly to 100mph (re-geared), while getting 85mpg at around 50-60mph. Not only that but it now goes round corners as opposed to trying to go through the nearest hedgerow! I guess at a rough estimate, including buying the bike, I've spent around 1800 quid. This may seem like a lot (well it does to me!) but I've ended up with what is really a new bike, built to my specifications. Alll I've got to do now, as the dry run is finished, is to strip it all down again and paint it. Oh well, as long as it's ready for the millennium!
Dnepr outfit (Neval to his friends): If ever a bike was built for the home mechanic (aka bodge artist) this is it. If anything breaks just bodge something else remotely similar to fit, or make a new one! Remember the phrase: You meet the nicest people on a Honda? Well, this could be adapted to: You meet the worlds best bodgers on a Dnepr! Or as they are known by those in the know, Neval, after the UK importers Neval Motorcycles (Hi Alan).
My association with these 1930's dinosaurs started years ago when a mate of mine used to own a breakers in Rhynie in Aberdeenshire (Hi Pete). I got to know a few folk that owned them, all of whom had a bit of a twitch and were a bit out there. My first Neval outfit was a swap for an old Armstrong crosser in bits, a Primus stove and a pair of throw-over panniers, thank fuck it's still bartertown up here!
I was introduced (or was it indoctrinated) into the Neval culture when Pete, myself and a load of mates did a bit of charity work for Live Aid. We had a sponsored how-many-people-can-we-get-on-a-Neval-outfit-and-still-drive-it-across-the-car-park. We managed 27 (really!) people which apparently was a world record. At least we got a few hundred quid for charity and got on the telly as well!
Over the next year or so I got to know various strange characters who also owned Nevals, such as Malcolm Dobbie who used to build all sorts of Heath Robinson contraptions, far too weird to go into here (Alright, one example was a Honda C70 with a Tractor wheel grafted on to give better traction in the fields!). I also got to know Tom who's probably the only sane person that I know who's into Nevals, plus a bloody good engineer to boot (Sadist!).
I eventually sold the original outfit back to Pete as he needed it to get him to work. It eventually died a glorious death after a lorry accidentally tipped its load of scaffolding on to the outfit, mangling it almost beyond recognition. But it still ran, the hardy fucker! That was it until about a year ago when | needed to off-load an XR600 after one too many run-ins with the old bill, who had taken a strange dislike to me thundering through the town on the back wheel!
It was one night after far too much beer and the best part of a bottle of Jack Daniels, that I got out the old rose-tinted specs (I know you have a pair as well!), and decided to sell the XR and get another Neval outfit! Well, | phoned up Alan at Neval Motorcycles the very next morning, still half cut, and a deal was struck - my XR and a few quid for a shiny new 1930's Classic outfit.
I also went for the optional extra of the steel fairing! No doubt this delightful item had been designed by the Russian Army (who still use them) to protect Boris from stray gunfire! A week or so later Alan from Neval Motorcycles turned up on my doorstep and the deal was done.
Have you ever tried to ride a bike for 1500 miles at 35mph? That's how you run in a Neval. Fuckin' tedious or what but it gave me plenty of time to become re-accustomed to all their little foibles. Plus it also gave me time to iron out a few teething problems, all of which I'll hasten to add Alan sorted out promptly without any hassle whatsoever.
So how's it going now? Fine. There's hundreds of mods | could do to it if I wanted - Jag valve springs, A65 pistons, there's even a Hitachi alternator which also acts as a starter motor which can be grafted to fit! Plenty of things to keep me occupied in the workshop on those boring winter nights, when her indoors wants to do the ironing while watching Friends on the telly.
I'll tell you what, rose-tinted specs or not it's a fuckin’ hoot to own a Neval again. Thundering down the road, sounding like a cross between a steamroller and a tractor, scaring small children half to death and giving OAPs nostalgia attacks! Bridget, the misses, thinks it's a fuckin' hoot 'n' all, going in the chair laughing at all the saddos in their cars.
I'm now under strict orders to teach her to ride it. Shouldn't be any problem as she's already got her HGV and PSV! The biggest laugh so far was last June when we decided to get married at Gretna (Ouch! I didn't mean the getting married bit Bridget). Yes you guessed it, we turned up on the outfit (try riding a bike in a kilt!) along with a pink trike called Pinkie and various other bikes. What was even more of a gas was that the BBC filmed it all for a documentary on Gretna. When they heard about the Neval outfit, Pinkie the trike, and the fact that all the guests were in fancy dress they couldn't wait! It will be shown on the telly early next year, so keep a look out if you want a laugh!
Tim Fowler