Motorcycling Can Still Be Fun

The very nature of motorcycling means that for a lot of the time it's lots of fun. In town, even slow bikes make flash cars seem silly; in the country, the act of throwing a fast and heavy bike through a series of curves can only be matched by the craziness inherent in some very exotic and expensive cars, and even burning off Ford Capris down the motorway has its attractions. For sure, when the rain, sleet and snow are making road conditions, er, interesting, one begins to yearn for either an excuse to lounge in the Far East, or enough folding stuff to buy a Porsche 911. But it only takes a few hours sun and a few hundred miles of winding country roads to reaffirm ones loyalty to two wheel exotica. There's something so damn exhilarating about riding fast motorcycles that it's impossible to just give the things up.
 
The major problem, these days, is that running costs can eat up most of the meagre income citizens of the UK manage to retain after punitive taxes and huge living costs. I, for one, have never been willing to work for just the pleasure of riding a motorcycle. As an example of how far the UK has fallen, you can earn three times as much in the States and buy a motorcycle for little more than half its cost in Great Britain.
 
Something, somewhere has gone seriously wrong. Ten years ago I could run a middleweight twin on about 1/10th of my income, a sum these days that wouldn't even pay for the petrol, even at their lowered rates. And this comparison includes insurance rates that have been slashed as I left the dangerous age bands and built up some no claims discount. I may be just getting meaner with age, but I have become completely reluctant to support the various companies busy ripping off the public while lining shareholders' pockets.
 
Working on the basis that if you can't beat them you may as well join the bastards, I've been buying bikes cheap, riding them and trying to support the habit by selling them at a profit. The main ingredient in these machinations is cheek. Offering silly prices for used bikes, at the very least results in a nasty stare and often comes close to physical retribution. It takes time and a strong stomach to obtain that bargain buy. There are several things on my side in these reprehensible acts.
 
Dealers offer even lower prices, flashing a wad of used fifty pound notes often changes minds in a country where hard cash has become replaced with credit cards, and there are more motorcycles on sale than buyers. Of course, the same problems apply when I try to sell the bike at a profit.

I've found that the best way to sell a used bike is to advertise it in the window of the local motorcycle accessory store. Having wasted pounds and pounds in the local and motorcycle press, I now find I can sell the bike much quicker for just a few pence worth of advertising. Conversely, the best place to buy is from the classifieds, as these bikes can stay unsold for weeks and weeks - it often pays to work a week or so behind, as the sellers will be getting desperate by the time they get your call. The greater the distance and time taken, the greater the bargain.
 
There are problems with all this hustling. It only takes a small mechanical failure to write off the profit, or actually start costing money. This limits the kind of bike that can be purchased, and puts the really exotic stuff firmly out of bounds. Even buying a bike with worn tyres can wreck the profit equation. Timing is essential, to sell the bike just before it needs new tyres, tax etc. - makes all the difference.

This can be taken a stage further by buying written off bikes or non-runners. The problem with crashed bikes, is that too many people already have their fingers in the pie. Too many layers of dealers leads to high prices, and too many back handers. Non-runners are much more fun, and much more risky.

It's possible to buy non-runners that only have minor faults, which are operating again with a few hours work and the minimum of expense. The problem is working out just why the bike's stopped working and taking a chance that it can be fixed cheaply. Personally, I'll be sticking with the stuff I can actually hear running, I've seen too many people end up sticking malfunctioning bikes in the corner of their garage to want to get my fingers too dirty.
 
I expect that this mixing of commerce with the motorcycling hobby will offend many readers, and most of the freeloaders who write for the established motorcycle press, but this worries me far less than the prospect of having my bank account in the red due to the greed, ineptitude and rip-off attitude associated with most of the people in the motorcycle trade and associated industries. The fact of the matter is that everything could be so much better if only companies gave some kind of real service.
 
Anyway, I've managed to get the fun back into my motorcycling. I no longer see huge holes punched into my income and I no longer begrudge the expense of just riding for the kicks, a condition that has become more and more pertinent as I no longer have the burden of travelling hundreds of miles each week just to earn a crust. The poor condition of the used market makes all this kind of activity possible. If bikes were not so hard to sell then I couldn't get away with offering silly prices. It takes a little nerve to refuse the offer of silly money when people come back to buy the bike off me, but then it is just a question of holding out - and enjoying the bike.

Bill Fowler