After the first 1000 miles I became just a little bored with the R100S. With 56000 miles under its wheels, it was a cantankerous old beast but I'd soon learnt to cope with its gearbox, reactive shaft drive and lurching under anything other than perfectly modulated throttle and clutch hands. It would brown-nose its way up to about 120mph then go as extinct as a dodo. The back end weaved, the front end fluttered - even on nicely smooth and straight motorways - whilst the motor thrummed away like the small-ends were on the way out.
I could hardly expect perfection as it had only cost 700 sovs. From a few feet away it looked pretty good but up close there were a lot of minor oil leaks, scuffed paint and ruined alloy. The amount of wear in the shaft drive was almost unbelievable - for the first few days I couldn't believe anything that churned away so badly would actually get me anywhere. But time and experience does funny things to the mind - after a while it didn't feel nearly so bad! .
The first on the road mishap occurred when I hit the side of a car. I was going for a gap in the traffic which tightened up when the jerks on either side decided to relieve the boredom of the day. I chose the expensive looking Jaguar, rammed the cylinder head into that. Made a very loud crunching, tearing noise and took off a large area of sheet metal. There were, admittedly, a few new scratches on the cylinder head and a couple of more cracks in the fairing but they weren't really noticeable. The Jag's owner was besides himself with rage; nothing with what he must've felt when he found out I'd given the old owner's name and address - the insurers won't pay out unless the other party makes a claim and his six month old car looked like a write-off to me.
The BMW shrugged off that accident but the next one was a bit more serious. I have to note, at this point, that the mufflers were totally devoid of baffles, the combined exhaust noise and engine rattles making it sound like a tank running over dustbins - so how anyone could ignore its presence or claim not to see it, I don't know. Anyway, this guy in a Metro did just that, streaming right across my path. The ancient Brembo's weren't the best discs in the world and even a desperate grasp on the lever failed to produce much by way of retardation.
Not surprisingly, the BMW ploughed into the side of the Metro. Went in so deep the whole car ended up buckled. The BMW's front wheel was dented and the forks bent, as well as some very deep cracks in the fairing. A used wheel, straightened forks and lots of plastic welding sorted out the crate, wouldn't like to think how much the insurers had to pay out on the car. By the way, it's possible to ride a BMW with dented front wheel, banana forks and flapping fairing - but definitely no kind of fun.
These two accidents happened within a fortnight of each other, making me wonder if the bike was jinxed. A feeling confirmed when ten days later I fell off for no real reason. It was a laid back country road ramble and I'd gently steered the BMW into this long left-hander when the front wheel twitched and the next thing I knew! was eating dust. It was one of those hot summer days that melts tarmac, the BMW's cylinder heads leaving large indentations in the surface, though it didn't stop large bits of plastic breaking off from the fairing. I also did in my knee and elbow, getting a coating of tarmac deep into the cuts. Ouch! I decided I'd better fit some second-hand forks rather than rely on the straightened ones - they obviously weren't repaired properly, as that's the only reason I can think of for the accident. It didn't do that trick again, anyway!
The engine became so rattly that I thought I'd better do the valve clearances - miles out. There was some wear on the tappets, or something, as it was very difficult to set the clearances precisely, had to compromise on a touch too tight to make up for the looseness on another part of the cam! I should've taken the clutch out as it was a bit on the wild side but that seemed like too much hard work for too little gain - I even began to like the way it'd vigorously lurch forwards! After spending about two hours getting the valve clearances as near perfect as they were going to be, found it made absolutely no difference to the noise levels or the performance. Didn't touch them again.
Expecting the worst, I was relieved when the motor just kept running and clattering away, as if it'd worn as much as it was ever going to and would thunder along until the next century - at the very least. Three months into my ownership I experienced total battery failure. Came out in the morning, completely extinct. This isn't uncommon on Beemers, especially during the winter. A small car battery was force-fitted but that lasted less than three days. Fearing the worst, | was relieved (again!) to find that it was just a connector that had fallen apart. Whacked that back together, there was a big bang when I tumed on the ignition. Two of the loose wires had burnt out their insulation on the engine, welded themselves together, shorting out the whole charging system. It was so well designed, though, that the only damage was a blackened fuse holder.
Whilst on the electrics, compared to a similarly aged Japanese multi the lights, switches and horn were all miles better. Especially main beam, which was such a dazzler on country roads that it made cagers nervously switch to dip rather than try to blind me as in the past. The horn made pedestrians leap out of their clothes, could be heard even over all the engine and exhaust noise.
The other area where the BMW was well ahead of the game, ergonomics - the narrow, flat bars took a little getting used to but I fitted the bike really well which is half the battle. I could do 200 miles in one sitting, no hassle. Would've done more but the tank was almost empty by then. Fuel could go down to as low as 35mpg and oil was also on the heavy side had to keep a careful eye on both.
The full fairing and panniers made it a really convenient bike to ride in all weathers, short or long distances. Even at 120mph I found the speed a bit lacking and although there was plenty of midrange torque acceleration lacked a certain rigour. Despite all its character it was a bike I soon became bored with but was more or less forced to keep riding it as nothing better turned up at a reasonable price. This lack of outright enthusiasm resulted (karma, man) in a couple of blown tyres (nearly down to the carcass) and shaft drive joints that were making heavy rumbling noises - don't think they had seen any lubricant for a couple of years.
With those irritations sorted, a dealer finally took pity on me, offered me 1300 quid off a naked 1200 Bandit. Don't know where he went to school but I liked the kind of arithmetic they taught!
AP