THE GLENMORE RUN: This is a good first run of the year, as well as all summer, as it consists of decent roads, bonny scenery, and suits any bike. It will take you most of the day to complete including stops for a beer and a burger. Take the A941 out of Elgin and at Craigellachie take the A95 to Avimore. If you want to stop for a coffee there's a good little cafe on the right with its own car-park right by the main road as you go through the town centre (nice cakes!). If you feel inclined the steam railway's worth a visit as you can go for a trip on a real steam train!
Oh yeah, and the ski lift's open all year round. Full leathers slide really well over the snow, just make like a penguin down the slope! Unfortunately the saddo skiers sometimes take offence, but what the fuck they don't own the slopes! From Aviemore head south down the A9 to Kingussie where you pick up the A86 and head towards Spean Bridge. At Spean Bridge take the A82 north. This is a grand road and you can really let it rip here. It's got some really good sweeping comers and long straights, but keep a lookout for Willie The Weekend Driver cos' he's in his own little sad old world and won't see you!
At Fort Augustus you have a choice of continuing on the A82, or taking the B862, up either side of Loch Ness. The A82 is faster while the B862 is more scenic, if taking the B862 don't forget the B852 detour which goes right by the water's edge. If you are up on holiday do them both. There's boat hire if you want which can be a hoot if there's a few of you. Oh, and don't forget to keep a look out for Nessie (in your dreams!).
When you get to Inverness just take the A96 which takes you back to Elgin, giving an approximate distance of 220 miles. I remember one memorable run, I had a Rickman CR1000 at the time, when my mate Martin on his GPz750 and I managed to trash brand new front tyres chasing each other one sunny Sunday afternoon on that run. Another time a whole bunch of us took a boat out on Loch Ness, broke down, and were stranded in the middle of the loch for 3 hours.
THE SKYE RUN: This is basically a round trip from Elgin to Skye which is best taken at max chat. Unless you happen to be touring when I recommend that you go via Skye itself and spend a few days looking around and the like. You will find the lock-ins which regularly occur in the remotest pubs a great laugh, with all sorts going on (and I mean all sorts!).
From Elgin take the A96 to Inverness, then the A9 towards Tore. Just before Tore take the A835 to Garve then onto the A832. This road followed by the A890 to Kyle Of Lochalsh is a thrasher's delight, as well as being quite pretty. A good place to stop for a coffee, or a beer, and some grub. The pub just over the bridge does good food (I personally recommend the Macaroni Cheese & Chips, washed down with a pint of Heavy - Mmmm!).
For the trip back take the A87 to Invergarry followed by the A82 to Spean Bridge. Here pick up the A86 to Kingussie, then the AQ North to Avimore. By this time you will probably be hungry again, so why not stop for a fish supper in Aviemore! After that it's just a quick 50 mile thrash from there to Elgin which should give you a total of around 300 miles. By that time you will most likely be shagged out, but no doubt have a wry smile on your face if the weather's been good!
THE TOTALLY BLADDERED AT BRACORA RUN: This is a weekend job, only recommended to those with a stout liver and little regard for their health, or the law. To fully enjoy this run the weather needs to be good and you have to camp over at least 2 nights. Plus you will need a rack to carry the slabs of beer'n’mussels (explanation later)! Of all the runs here I reckon this is the best laugh, covering both thrashing, and drunken debauchery.
Before you start make sure that at least one of you has a rack fitted, and bungee as many slabs of beer on to it as you can. This is to see you through the first night, as you will arrive late if travelling on Friday night after work ! I remember one memorable occasion some years ago when I went there with Oz, Freekie (RIP), Mark & Fedra and ‘Al-The-Bastard’. Oz was on his NSR400, Freekie his 250 Gamma, Mark 'n’ Fedra a GPz550 and Al-The-Bastard was with me on the back of my VFR along with 3 slabs and our tent. Unfortunately Mr. Honda did not really design the VFR for such heavy and ill-placed loads and the poor old VFR wheelied most of the way there, to the great amusement of the others!
Al-The-Bastard hung on with nerves of steel, well not really... he started on our massive carry-out and by the time we got to Bracora he was a giggling rubber man. The only reason that he hadn't fallen off was because he had somehow managed to get entangled in the bungees holding on the beer & tent!
Anyway, head out of Elgin towards Inverness, and on reaching Inverness head south on the A82. About 8 miles past Spean Bridge turn right onto the A830 towards Mallaig. About 2 miles before Morar take the road to Bracora. It's down this road that you should start to look for somewhere to camp. Preferably by Loch Morar on the raised beach. We use a spot which is nice and secluded and fine for wild parties by the tents! When you have found a decent site and pitched your tents party on!
If the weather's good and you do things right the next two days will become an alcoholic haze! There are plenty of good pubs in Morar and Mallaig, all of which are biker friendly. We also discovered that the old bill are pretty laid back as well, not minding us riding around Mallaig helmetless in the hot summer's sun.
Another thing which you should also try is the mussels. Go to the beach at Mallaig and get as many of them as you can from around the rocks. You will need to wade in waist deep, but seeing as you will be bladdered you'll find this a hoot! To cook them I recommend boiling them in beer! Honest it tastes spot on. Don't eat any that don't open up though, otherwise you will spend the next few days on the crapper! Also if there are any anglers by the Loch try to get some trout off of them. These also taste real good poached in beer!
The trip home is just the same way as you got there, although probably a lot slower as you will all no doubt be hung over and exhausted, but with a smile from ear to ear! The approx. distance for that run (not that it's really important!) is around 270 miles.
THE CABRACH RUN: This is a good run to blow the cobwebs off. Just the thing for a Sunday morning when you will no doubt have a horrendous hangover from the previous night's shenanigans! This run is ideally suited to a big trailie due to the condition of the roads and the frequent opportunity to go off road for a bit of a blast over the heath, failing that any old superbike will do.
I wouldn't suggest taking your R1 or Blade for a mad thrash on this run as you are likely to rattle it to bits over the pot-holes and ridges in the roads. Also watch out for the odd deer, and Farmer Giles who doesn't give a shit about anything except getting his crappy old tractor and bogie to the next field leaving mud everywhere on the way. You will also probably come across the occasional pissed up GT driver who thinks he's Alan Prost, and is determined that you won't pass!
Don't forget to take your waterproofs, as it's been known to snow on this road in summer (although the last time was in the late 70's)! Anyway, take the A941 out of Elgin to Dufftown, then just follow the signs to Rhynie, over the Cabrach. As soon as you leave the town just open her up, and give it max thrash. Remember there are quite a few blind bends, and gravely comers, and if you are unlucky enough to wipe out, you might not be found for days!
When you get to Rhynie head to Alford (where there is a pretty good motor museum if you're interested) then on to the A96 via Insch. It's then just a straight blast up the A96 back to Elgin. Watch out for speed traps on the A96! All in all around 100 miles.
ROUND THE COAST RUN: This takes 5 days or so in the summer if you want to really enjoy yourself, and is by far the best way to explore the Highlands. Try and explore all the back roads, pubs and the like. There are plenty of campsites and B&B on route, most of the pubs are really friendly. There really isn't set route, just a general one, on which your can take the odd detour to explore. I would suggest a good OS map, which will show you all of the back roads, historical sites, campsites and the like (try Tourist Information as well).
You can even do a bit of hill walking if you like, but bear in mind that the weather can change in an instant. So don't go hiking in trainers, T-shirt 'n' shorts unless you want to become tomorrow's headlines, and really piss-off Mountain Rescue in the process!
Take the A96 out of Elgin towards Inverness then head north to Thurso on the A9. There are plenty of things to see on the way so take it easy and take a couple of days. Then head east along the A836. | would stop off at Tongue as it's ideally situated to explore the North Coast. It's then just a gentle meander down the West coast. Try to keep near the sea, just heading inland for the odd excursion. Definitely try the A838 down past Loch Shin as well as the A837 and A835, all of which are really good biking roads, with nice scenery to boot.
If you have the time, take the Ferry to the Hebrides as the scenery there is unreal, and the locals really make bikers feel welcome. There are also a lot of lock-ins as well! On the way back to Elgin try to take in the A82 past Loch Ness, just to finish things off with a good blast! The distance you should expect to travel on this trip will be in excess of 600 miles, but well worth it cos' you will really get a feel of what the Highlands are like.
Tim Fowler